this sort of relates to religion, so i'm dumping it here too: 

07-29-21 laterish: so if i try to pick back up on a couple of langan's topics that i'm currently reading, which might be a couple of things that i'm just going to call science/technology and religion, if i try to stay on those simple themes and how there might be examples of an inner struggle in my life i might say that i had every intention of studying medical science when i began my huge college educational career... when i began college i knew that i knew that i knew that i was going to be a medical doctor, ultimately i just wanted to be a primary care physician, i hated science and math but whatever... i won't go much more into my secondary education career but i'll just say that when i withdrew from college shortly following the official withdrawal date i had achieved a huge zero-point-zero GPA, that's what happens when you quite college in your first semester, and when you quite right after the official withdrawal date... so it should be known to the reader that you are not reading the words of a smart guy, i dropped out of college man... and so this sort of first part of my story collides with the second part which is what some folks might call a religious conversion of sorts, well i was introduced to the bulk of my religious preference as a child through a certain type of denomination of the same religious philosophy, but several years later i sort of heard it all over but for the first time type of thing, and whatever it was that i actually experienced was the beginning of a slow but steady sort of religious thing or understanding or evolution or whatevs... and then this sort of immediate inner conflict began when the science majors had to attend the annual Darwin Convention, and then i didn't even give the brilliant darwin guys a chance, there was this immediate preconceived perception that Darwin's theory of evolution was just plain old wrong, and second of all i hate conventions, so that didn't help either, and third of all dyslexia types of things were kicking my ass, and sixth of all i just simply wasn't the type of person that could work a full time job to pay bills while i also tried to go to school full time to utilize GI Bill and Army College Funds, and then second of all i knew damm well that i wasn't quite ready or prepared to begin college at that point, i felt a bit overly encouraged to do so, and then third of all... well look, i don't need to try to cover every aspect of why i did when i dropped out of college, but, fifth of all i should have recognized and dealt with certain types of traumas or ‘unfinished business’ as i like to say... but again, whatevs for now... so if i'm really just trying to draw some type of personal example from what i'm ascertaining so far from langan's publications i would say that in my case the religious faith beat that of the science replacement... for me at the time it was one or the other, there could be no co-existence, and i just had a crazy religious sort of thing and that was about as much as me simple brain could handle if it were the choice between the two... life did not really seem to get easier for me in many respects immediately following my conscious effort to embrace a type of Christianity, as far as a new perception of life was concerned, well maybe life got a bunch easier, but i still had no clue where my place was in this world, i didn't know how i was supposed to fit in, i guess i never really did at all unless there was a reward system or instant gratification or a learned give-and-take sort of thing... but i'll say that after many challenges to the core foundations of my religious preference that i haven't been persuaded away or against or for further review, it's been a bunch of rocky years between the mid 90's and now but i'm still open to other ideas, and even if we agree to disagree i will still love like your a real person no matter, because we are really just equals of different understandings as far as i'm concerned, but my religious philosophy isn’t really all that complicated, it’s just that Jeshua HaMashiach and he lived a life example of his message and…, well that’s about it really… and then so if I want to take another aspect of my life and dump it with the two themes above, and how they might to relate to langan’s publications I would say that I ended up in some sorts of technology jobs eventually too, it didn’t feel a whole lot like a conscious decision though, it was just through slow exposure to various types of technology as employment opportunities opened, and then learning more about the aspects that challenged my job requirements, and then chasing after other learning opportunities as I could handle… technology sucks because it forces one to learn new languages and if you are the type similar to me learning new languages doesn’t come easy… language seems secondary in many respects, new vocabulary isn’t always easy and langan is showing me that again, but I won’t try to retain much of his vocabulary, it make my head squirm a bit… one particular challenge and example of such was just taking a silly Microsoft certification course, the technical material contained within the actual exam wasn’t challenging but what was difficult about the exam itself was that it was mostly or entirely written by folks that English was their second language, and so the challenge to me was reading within their vague and different vocabulary structure to figure out what they were really asking… I didn’t have to try to learn a whole programming language to pass a simple exam but I had to read within their language to understand what they really needed as an answer… I really hated that, but just passing the silly thing the first time was a bit of validation and confidence, and all I really did was end up providing technical assistance to folks that required it, that was about all, and it was enough… I will say that the inviting pull of technology and it’s own language within could not supersede religion, in my case technology offered a gratification when you understand the language and how to utilize it as a tool, but a combination of science and technology would not suffice as an adequate replacement for religion, science relates to religion and religion to science, and science relates to technology and it’s language structure, but technology does not directly relate to religion except through the language of science… and so maybe if I could try to tie in science and religion and technology I would say that I am mostly clueless about all of them but they are all intriguing and validating, so far religion feels as if it supersedes the others, yet science as it relates to natural reality can’t be denied, but using science to supersede religion is futile at it’s core, the language of science is only limited to human comprehension and the preconceived theories that we utilize it for… well look, I’m just reading a bit of langan’s works and can only comprehend what I’m capable of comprehending but so far I just enjoy reading him make his case, that guy is pretty frickin smaht and he makes my noggin rattle a bit, so far I think that I understand his plea but time will tell… have you been challenged by religion and the sciences including technology? Don’t be afraid of a good challenge, embrace it and then come out of the other side knowing why it was worth the challenge… understanding the values in successful challenges will yield unending surprises and a lifetime of education… so how about getting off your fvcking arse and allow yourself to be challenged again or for the first time… sitting on your ass helps no one ever, well technically speaking I am sitting on my old ars right now and I know that it is helping someone somewhere, so forget that other last part… but it appears that I’m slouching so I need to get up about now, that’s a scientific fact you know, maybe… get off your lazy ass and search for a way to challenge your mind and body, they both require challenges more than we may like or think, and that’s officially scientifical… please accept my challenge to you, you are far too important to stagnate and waste. -- ct

07-28-21 laterish: So a local chapter of Jahovah’s Witnesses have reached out to me again, with another usps delivered parcel, and I suppose that I’ve been dancing around the idea of deliberately interacting with folks that self-identify as JW’s… it’s not you, it’s me, and I just don’t like challenging conversations sometimes… but consider your challenge met, and I am more open to hearing the story behind your passion… you wanted my time and ear and consideration, and now you have some… but I have to warn you, my convictions are strong and I have been living on borrowed time for many years, so my time is actually short and every moment chasing things that don’t require my attention is almost vile in my perspective… but I will give you my attention, and it would do us all a favor to maybe just come out and start by telling me what I’m missing, what point am I missing if my basic and underlying foundational religious belief system isn't only based on Yah, or Yaway, or Jahova… but the rest of my religious preference is based on the foundations that Yeshua HaMashiach, and I don’t know if that fully integrates with your core foundational belief, time will tell and I look forward to our time together... dialog about important matters are always appreciated so i look forward to our time together… peace… -- ct

07-27-21 much laterer: ... so i think that i was recently stimulated or challenged to poke into a few weird things that may not pertain to other people, but, well... well let me reiterate that i am not a professional sort of person that might really be qualified to write about such things... but maybe there was some biblical or historical suggestion that there was an inner conflict between man and his/her god, and let's say that man flat-out said to this sort of god thing, that man said 'look, im done messing around with you and your boring self, i'm sort of into other things now... so how about give me a king instead of it just being me and you and the lovely wife... so that way i'll have a strong leader that will 'show me how to' live' and will just plain old 'lead' me'... and then the sort of god thing said 'no no No no no NO... you REALLY don't want that as another option, that will yeild all kinds of trouble, you are clearly taking your eye off of your own personal freedoms and the simple boundaries that i've offered you all, , and then man was like 'well thank you very much for whatever you just tried to tell me, but i'll just take the frickin king already, it's not you god, it's just me... cool' ... and then this type of god sort of thing was like 'oh really, well here ya go then, and good luck to ya mate, you are screwing up a lot of things for a lot of people that you don't even know about yet, but here's your stinkin king, and please don't forget that i am still here for you, you depend on me more than you will ever know, but here is your big tall handsome king that you requested, poof, here ya go'... and then man was like 'that king is so handsome and special looking and distracting... and distracting, and good looking and and and', and then god was like 'dude, you wanted another flawed man to lead you are you are terribly distracted by what is on the outside/label that you don't see how messed up some of his actions and behaviors are, and how he is victimizing some people at their expense so he can chase his own inner fantasies, maybe sort of', ... and then man was all like ' but he's so handsome and distracting and 'so what' about their own inner fantasies and how they are victimizing others, they are so frickin cool no matter what' ... and then, and then... well there was sort of a proverbial 'uh-oh' of sorts... and then maybe there became some sort of an inner conflict with man for his dependency on god and man (king), maybe there became an inner longing for independence yet frustratingly understanding on dependency of a strong role model to lead, but every bit as much dependency on that god sort of thing, and so then maybe a zillion point three five years ago later man is still utterly dependent on both man and god, and how much and when which is just 'showing us' or 'asking us' and how they are showing us or asking us to exercise freedoms and dependencies from which and when is appropriate is ... well maybe it's just my own inner struggle to contemplate... but man really wanted another man to lead and to 'show guidance', and maybe then he got what he really wanted, instead... anyway, i shouldn't really contemplate such things because my simple mind will just explode, but i've been a bit challenged in some respects, and so challenge accepted and thunk upon a wee bit... inner struggles suck when neither makes more sense than the other, maybe that's what i'm just trying to say in some respects. -- ct
07-23-21 afternoonish: it should be known to the reader that i am a white american heterosexual male, that is self described factual information... it should be known to the reader that i grew up a bit disadvantaged as some people might describe, if you poke around this lousy website long enough you will read and understand more on that topic... but is should be known and understood to any reader that i did not grow up nor was born into nor genetically different enough to be in a race other than my own, and so i do not understand the perspectives and experiences that anyone else in any other race or religion or planet or universe possesses... so when i speak about equality it's just my ignorant way of stating that i actually believe that the only person that ever roamed the face of this earth that was greater than me, or more than my equal was an old timer named jesus, and that had to do with other things that weren't like regular human things... and so when i state that you are my equal no matter what you or i believe, well it should be known to the reader that as far as i'm concerned jesus of nazareth was the only thing ever that was greater than me, everyone except him is just my equal... so it should be known to the reader that when i speak to equality i speak to a perspective that some folks can't really understand... i hope we can just love each other anyway... maybe i need to shuffle this post under 'religiousy stuff' too, but this post speaks to something that i sort of consider an important life lesson so that's where it begins... -- ct

04-01-21: ... april fools ... whatever ... it's also the day where Christians honor and remember what many people call The Passion of The Christ. Christian faith/religion is what i crudely describe as a continuation of Jewish religion and history and sacred texts and even some practices and i will say it ... 'traditions'. Christians worldwide for zillions of years utilize some of the ancient Jewish texts to a smaller collection of books that we call the "Old Testament', it's not for me to say much more than that about the books in the Christian bible that are categorized as the old testament other than they are what we consider to be our God's communication/message to all of humanity, it's pretty much what the God of our religious faith wants everyone to know, we would say that it is foundational to the next set of books that's in our bible, it's what we call our 'New Testament'. Most Christians that I know may eventually elude to a statement of some sorts that would say that the books of the old testament all have many individualistic values and importance, as well that they all had also spoken too, written about, prophesied of an individual/leader that would come someday in the future that would lead God's people back to a legit freedom from the grief that they had struggled with for many years which was unfortunately at the fault of the rebellious behavior and actions of many of their previous leaders, like how the deviant religious leaders and kings took advantage of their citizens/sub-servants and also told them not to read or listen to God's message to humanity anymore, just do what they tell you to do now. So Christians take the information that we think that our God had inspired different people throughout history to write, we take the historical context and information written in the old testament and utilize what we call 'faith' that all of those books are extra special because the God who had given humanity our very life had inspired these actual historical people that actually walked the face of earth to remember and write some things that were valuable enough to pass that information to future generations... Christians think that the words in our bible are historically and 'spiritually' significant enough that when this guy called Jesus had emerged a couple thousand years ago we sort of started making connections to what the 'Messiah' of the ancient texts might do and we started thinking that this guy named Jesus has got the be the leader that the old testament books had told us about, this Jesus guy has got to be a really big deal, and so began historical documentation of what Christians call the life and 'ministry' of Jesus The Messiah, or The Christ. Christians that appreciate the words and verses and chapters and books of the new testament should eventually force themselves to appreciate the words of the old testament at some point in their lives, they are fundamental to the teachings of the new testament like you wouldn't believe. But back to this man named Jesus, he didn't appear to be a leader in any logical sense, the only people that he 'led' were people that wanted to follow him, he didn't lead employees on a money-making endeavor, he didn't 'teach' in a formal way that the religious leaders of his time did, he wasn't a combative warrior that was trained by an army, it seems that he was just a carpenter with a humble upbringing... And i'm sure that his parents had some stories to tell. Anyway the historical person that actually walked on the face of the earth named Jesus was a leader in spite of his humble beginnings, even though he wasn't a prodigy from a royal bloodline he still attracted a crowd of people that wanted to literally stop what they were doing and listen to him and literally follow him and not because he wore a beautiful custom suit and spent a considerable amount of time at a salon preparing to execute a perfectly written speech that his cronies wrote for him to make him sound special or important or promote their own causes but he attracted people in spite of not being attractive or charming, he attracted people by his compassion and kindness and the way that he treated everyone equally no matter how important they thought they were or how insignificant they viewed themselves he taught his followers that everyone is created imperfect but equal to one another. I wasn't prepared to write much else about his teachings but his teachings were remarkably simply to people who listened in my opinion, many of his teachings were based on people asking him how he interpreted certain parts of the ancient religious writings but his responses were never academically challenging, the people that were the closest to him sometimes asked him to be more specific about some of his teachings to the larger crowds and his answers to their questions are found in the Christian bible, and some versions of the Christian bible have Jesus' answers to their questions in red colored text, I dig the bibles that have Jesus' words in red. There are lot's of things that I could write about regarding Jesus and his teachings but maybe I'll just share one or two more quick things... that guy could ruffle-up the feathers of the elitists of his time, that guy some had some straight-out haters that thought they had everything together but they were proven to be hypocrites, Jesus plainly told them why they were ignorant and devious fools, and there is nothing more than an elitist that is addicted to power and their own ego hates and that is to be called out on their perversion... I won't jump to any conspiracy theories here but it seems that some of the elitists that Jesus had offended got him killed, they found a way to snuff him out. Some people who aren't christian kind of know the story of the passion too, it describes the last four days that Jesus had spent in his ministry to all humankind. When the offended elitists put enough pressure on government officials to try to get Jesus to shut up, so Jesus was questioned and put on trial for religious blasphemy, the charges brought against him were for declaring that he himself was in fact the messiah that was promised to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and the second part was the real 'blasphemy', that part was when Jesus also declared that he was not only a son of God, but that he was literal offspring (on his daddy's side) of God, his mamma was human but his daddy was the literal God of the ancient texts, it appears that there was something miraculous to nature that happened and Jesus wasn't just a guy after all, He was something higher than just a man, there was some man to him, but he was every bit God as he was man, the god part was a paternal thing you could say. The blasphemy that Jesus was found guilty of was that he declared himself to be God, so the elitists and religious hypocrites had what they needed to shut up Jesus... 'this guy thinks he's God' - well maybe just half God on his Dad's side, but we are what we are so Jesus did not lie when he was asked about such blasphemy, told them the truth and didn't back down when his life depended on it, Jesus didn't back down and cower under pressure because he had nothing to back down from and he knew that his very life was the last part of the mission that he came to fulfill, first his teachings, then his final sacrifice... most Christians will be able to tell you that we believe that the death penalty that Jesus had succumbed to was every bit as important as his teachings, the brutality of his tortuous ending was both horrific but expected and his death which followed the torture was both expected and necessary for The Messiah's intentions/mission. Anyways, I wasn't expecting to write any of this today... so that's about all I have for now, other than 'Thank You Jesus', I appreciate your efforts and appreciate that God's plan for restoring his relationship to a rebellious mankind included people that aren't just olive-skinned people in the middle-east but also includes people like me too, thank you for remembering us light-skinned people in you plans for restoring humanity. -- ct

04-03-21: ... so maybe today is the saturday after Jesus died, and maybe i'm one of his closest followers, maybe i'm one of those apostle guys and the most influential person that i will ever meet had just died a horrible death, he wasn't just killed he was humiliated and tortured and then died a painful death in a public exhibition... how shaken to the bone am i right now. How messed-up is my head after watching this amazing person die just like that, you know that he pushed people's buttons sometimes and that elitists will not let that go unpunished, but 'what the F just happened' is what's going on in my imagination. Jesus was in his prime and seemed to be changing the lives of his followers in good ways and he was getting people to change their incorrect/deviant thoughts and actions and then after a pretty cool couple of days he is just gone, he was just here, and how can that even be that he is gone now. Maybe if i'm one of his close followers and my natural tendency might be to suit up in full battle gear and grab my favorite few weapons and want to destroy everyone involved in the injustice that i just witnessed, maybe if i were deviant to the point in acting out in rage maybe i wouldn't have survived long enough to witness the thing that happens tomorrow... it's a good thing that a knucklehead like me wasn't one of those apostles, the story would have been so much worse if i were impatient in my naivety/ignorance because there are always tomorrows but tomorrow's actual tomorrow might be the most special tomorrow ever known because the rest of Jesus story is yet to come... maybe to the Christian his death was important but the events that followed just a few days later were the most amazing, and maybe if there weren't 'miracles' or other peculiarities surrounding the things that happened a few days after he died, but maybe the fact that his message and his story still resonates beyond billions if not trillions of historical and current people around the globe is the most fascinating thing to this simple guy... tomorrow's gonna be awesome, some big stone get's rolled outta the way and then a bunch of other cool things happen too, but not to that Judas fella, he's gonna see a bad one coming up soon. -- ct

04-04-21: Easter Sunday, I had a rough night sleep so my head is sort of wandering and it's totally a day that will require 2 full big cups of coffee to function, but now is probably the only time that i will have to write today, but i have to write today, i unfortunately feel compelled to do so, it also helps me slow down my wandering over tired thoughts, so here goes. I think maybe it's easier for me to pick up from yesterdays theme and imagine myself as one of Jesus' closest friends/disciples, whatever they were called they were still his closest friends. One of his closest friends betrayed him for self-seeking endeavors, one out of 12-or was it 13- of his closest friends couldn't understand what Jesus was teaching everyone, sometimes i overthink numbers and appreciate crude statistics and then i want to consider certain statistics, but maybe i'm impressed that it was only one out of a dozen... maybe a guy that had a terrible night sleep shouldn't over think things right about now... So maybe i picture myself as being one of those dozen men that were his closest friends, i won't forget that there were many woman who were also very close and instrumental in his upbringing and ministry... but maybe i'm the knucklehead that i can be but a couple thousand years ago and now i'm one of his 12 buddies... and now he is gone. Sometimes it takes me longer to fully process information, or my thoughts, sometimes i'm considering too many unknown variables that i don't know how to process things that might be very emotional or obvious so i don't draw conclusions as quickly as most people, i can be a little slow sometimes, but when something comes along and rocks my world like the brutal death of my greatest influencer and best friend i understand that my natural thought-process says that someone is about to pay dearly and i happen to be an above average tool handler/apprentice of the Armalite model fifteen so let's get it on, that's a little ego but i call it human nature for today, today i will say that my human nature and sheep-dog mentality would like to take matters into my own hands, however i've learned over too many years that acting out on a triggered impulse can make a great 'statement' perhaps, but it doesn't really solve any problems, if anything it probably makes things more confusing to everyone else around me, right.... SO... back to easter sunday... i'm tired as all get out because i haven't finished one cup of coffee yet never mind two, and my world just got turned upside and i can be pretty slow to begin with so when i haven't even contemplated my second cup of coffee because i'm still nursing my first cup and now these ladies come running in and yelling about Jesus' grave and the big rock and now he's not here and, and, and ... and OK, alright, OK, you have my attention ladies, but i'm a little slow and groggy this morning, the malatonin gummy things didn't do their job last night and maybe i can get a travel mug before we go check out his grave, and tell me if i need to bring my gun, is it one of those types of things that will require defense or engagement because i'd rather just bring my mug of coffee instead... and second of all why would anyone take his dead body, what's up with that, and who does that anyway... no one takes my buddies dead body... um, right? ... Anyway, let's go check it out... BUT, Warning, i can be terrible with spoiler alerts but things get weird again from here because there are more red colored text to come, if you don't know what that means maybe go back and read the post from 04-01-21, it's foundational to today's post. So back to reality and today, today i'm glad that i wasn't one of those 12 guys that had to bare witness to what could be history's greatest moment as much as it was one of it's most horrific to those who witnessed his death... i'm good just reading about their experiences, i would still prefer to gear-up and make things happen the way that i think they should happen. My attempt is to make today Jesus' day and not my own day, personally speaking i just want to go out in the yard and start digging for the next outdoor project that i have going on, and the weather is perfect in rockingham county USA, so why not... anyway that's what i want to do, but now i got to go wake up the wife and kids and get to eastering and stuff ... Happy Easter. -- ct

01-27-2021: If someone describes themselves as a ‘Christian’ what does that automatically mean to you, what is it about the words christian’ or christianity that you have either experienced on your own, or was ‘taught’ to you from people that you respect, or was ‘taught’ to you by stereotypes of what ‘some people say’ christians are like? There is something, there is something that you think about when you hear that either someone is a christian, or someone says that they are a christian, so what is it? That thing or things that you just thought of is what your perception of christianity is, it’s your perception based on either your own actual life experiences, or it’s your perception based on what was communicated to you from parents or teachers or religious teachers/leaders, or it’s your perception based on what our friends or social media or people on news channels or people on ‘Talk or Opinion’ t.v. shows, which are usually generalized stereotypes that have been communicated to you. It’s probably more of a mix of everything above, that’s what your perception of christianity is, because those are a few sources of education that you have received over the course of your lifetime that has formed your own personal opinion of what christianity or christians themselves are ‘all about’, you know, your own personal perception of a very complicated, or possibly very simple religious philosophy… some of your opinion you know for sure and some of it is assumed by you and the influencers that you have been exposed to. You either know what christians or christianity is about, or you assume you know what we are about, what we believe, what we stand for… so what is it… well it doesn’t really matter to me but I’ll explain my perspective of the religious philosophy that I choose to ‘follow’.

I’ll tell you my perspective not in an attempt to manipulate you away from your own religious philosophy, or to brainwash you into believing something that you don’t want to believe, or because I feel obligated to do so… but to explain something that might be completely new/foreign to you, or maybe it’s based on personal experience, but most people have their own opinion, me too.

I enjoy writing, I had forgotten that many, many years ago, and now that I’ve re-discovered this forgotten enjoyment I have understood the importance of it. I had forgotten that if I take the time to write about something, that writing it, not just talking about it, helps to more clearly state/articulate/communicate a more complete perspective because writing gives you the ability to choose your words more carefully, structure my sentences in ways that make more sense… where if I was simply trying to ‘say’ what I mean and not write it I am more prone to forget to say part of what I was trying to communicate, or to say something incorrectly because I get distracted or emotional, or because I don’t fully understand something that I’m thinking about so in the confusion and assumptions of my misunderstanding I may choose the wrong words… sometimes I do that while writing too, but not as bad when I’m talking to someone, so if it’s really important I like to write about it... And religion is something that most people think is important, and for a ‘religious’ person their religion might be the foundation/filter/reasoning as to why they do what they do, think the way they think, behave/act the way that they do, me too, that’s what the importance of religion is to me, it effects the way that I understand people and life experiences, and I believe my religion to the point where it shapes my life. Parents teach their children the things that they have learned think that it’s important in helping the child prepare for life on their own, and that’s a big reason that I write a lot now, because I have come to the understanding that I know my children are important to me so it’s important to keep helping them learn about the world, about life, about interacting with other people… my children are more important to me than me chasing my own personal achievements and personal goals, educating my children is more important to me than getting caught up in life’s busy repetition. Taking the time to help my children understand more about life’s challenges even when they are ‘old’ teenagers is important enough for me to continue writing… for them, for myself, and maybe you too… people are worth the time that it takes to help teach and understand the over-complicated and confusing life that we find ourselves living in… in fact, its part of the message that my religious philosophy teaches… that other people are a lot more important than many people ever consider. But again, I enjoy writing--expressing thoughts—so that’s part of ‘why I do what I do’, and that’s partly why I’m writing now, because I’m the only person that can communicate what I want my kids and others to understand about basic Christianity in the way that only I can articulate, in a way that I can only communicate because I’m the only person on the face of this earth that has the same exact belief, knowledge, intelligence, life experiences, understanding and misunderstanding, assumptions, vocabulary, and facts that I have acquired over the course of 51 years of my life while being exposed to the culture and community in the small geographical area of the earth where I have lived for most of my life, I’m the only one that can communicate that because those are the sorts of things that make up one person’s opinion/perception … I’m the only one that can communicate the religious philosophy that I follow because I’m the only one with my exact opinion… correct or misguided I only have my own opinion and words to communicate my belief, I may be misguided and incorrect in my religious belief, or I might be correct, but if I believe that I am a christian I also have to know that I will be accountable for my actions when I ‘meet my maker’, when I physically die and are supposed to be meeting god…

… if I believe that I am a christian, and based on what I have learned, I assume that there are ‘rewards’ for good behavior and actions/punishments for inadequate/inappropriate behavior… so as a christian I assume that everything that I write, or say, or thought, or have done is subject to judgement… and not by a jury of my peers, but judgement by the entity that we simply call ‘God’. If I really believe that I am a christian I know that misleading words that do not accurately reflect the truth of the ‘supreme being’, or ‘higher power’, if my words are written with any devious attempt to mislead or misguide I know that I could potentially, probably be punished for my misdeed, and I must also understand that the more people who read this the greater risk to myself if I misguide anyone… I assume that and I expect that so maybe you can understand that I am not writing as a hypocrite, I am not writing as someone that does not actually believe what I say, I am actually someone that believes that all actions have consequences and that the consequences of my actions of intentionally or unintentionally misrepresenting the religious philosophy that I choose to ‘follow’ will be severe, because it should be severe, so here goes…

The man that we english speaking people call Jesus was born in a community called Nazareth (also another english defined name) roughly 2000 years ago, he was a descendant of Abraham, and was Jewish by birth and by religious understanding. When he was old enough to be his own man/adult he did not shop for fancy or expensive or trendy clothes to look special or attractive, he wasn’t into ‘bling’, he presented himself less fancy than most of his peers. Even though he was not a religious leader he understood the ancient texts/teachings/faith of jewish ‘religion’ even more so than the actual religious leaders did, he ‘schooled’ them from time to time. But he still treated everyone as an equal, he purposely helped people that were in need that other ‘regular’ people did not want to help, because he didn’t think that they were less important than him, he viewed everyone equally important. The people that he did have a problem with were what we call hypocrites, and not just any hypocrites, but more specifically he did not appreciate ‘religious hypocrites’. He would quote the religious teachings/texts and then explain how the hypocrites had been missing the ‘bigger point’ and why they were wrong, and it seemed to be the hypocrites that were religious leaders that bothered him the most, he was generally cool with almost everyone else, even his poor equals that the religious hypocrites didn’t want to help because they thought they weren’t ‘important’ enough to help.

I cannot speak intelligently about the details and teachings of the jewish history/faith but there were a couple of really important details that Jesus spoke about that I think were the most important to remember.

First, he claimed to be the jewish ‘Messiah’, the leader that god had promised them who would restore a peaceful relationship to their god and help them out of their misery, as jewish people were subjected to slavery off and on for many, many years.  Most of the religious leaders of that time did not think that jesus was their messiah—poor simple jesus who didn’t dress important or appear attractive and wasn’t ‘cozying up’ to them, he was clearly not the picture/idea of the messiah that they had expected…Jesus was humble not a strong powerful person, he wasn’t about trying to look good or fancy or special or charismatic… he just presented himself as a simple man that treated everyone as his equals and his actions displayed the love that he genuinely had for people, even to strangers and foreigners that weren’t jewish like him.

The second important thing that jesus had mentioned about the ancient jewish teachings were what most people have come to know as the ten commandments. Part of those commandments included things that most people teach their own children, seemingly normal things like don’t kill, don’t steal, don’t lie, but the two most important ideas that Jesus said were to treat everyone the same way that you know you should be treated… you know, as equals. And the most important commandment was to ‘worship’ their god with all of their hearts, minds and soul. Worship is a weird word for most people, worship is a word that can mean very different things to many different people, worship sounds like it involves mastery or slavery or submitting complete control of yourself over to the thing that you might be worshiping… worship, I hate that word because it is open to interpretation, meaning that your understanding of it can be different to the point of confusion when compared to someone else’s understanding of the weird word ‘worship’. Personally speaking, I have seen interpretations of ‘worship’ vary in artistic forms such as dancing, music, singing, theatrical performances, to other things such as symbolic rituals, withholding of essential nutrients or water, self-inflicted bodily harm… I’ve personally witnessed approximately a zillion perceptions/interpretations of the meaning of the word worship… some of them I’ve both enjoyed and participated in, but not the flogging and self-mutualization… those aren’t my idea of worship.

It is of my personal opinion, and maybe just my opinion, of the man that I choose to follow, was that he actually was the messiah that had been promised to israel, it’s of my opinion that he was an ‘unassuming’ messiah, he wasn’t what everyone expected the messiah to be like, and it’s of my opinion that the very idea that he wasn’t what people expected him to be like, what they assumed he would be like, shows that they really had no clue what to expect, that maybe their perspective of what the messiah was supposed to do for them was now open for further understanding/interpretation, maybe they needed to eliminate every expectation and assumption of what they thought about the messiah should be reconsidered, and their expectations should be challenged.

It’s my opinion that the messiah that jesus said he was, and the loving person that he showed people he was, well it is less complicated than most people have interpreted since his historically documented birth until his death… zillions of people have over complicated every step he took, every word that he spoke, every fart he had farted, every headache that he experienced… people have over complicated every meal that he ate, we have over complicated the reason for every drop of sweat beneath his armpits, every morsel of food stuck in his beard, every stain on his shirt, every smell that he smelled like whether it be foul or pleasant, people for over 2000 years have over complicated his message, his meaning, his actions, his emotions… you know, basically what he was actually communicating to us… christians believe that jesus was god reducing his perfect self to become human like us, we believe that jesus was god, that he was god that reduced himself to become a human representation of himself so he could re-emphasize his original message to humans/Israelites, that although god had given us some instructions many years back that he thought was important enough for us know, well most of us were getting it all wrong, and partly because religious leaders were actually hypocrites and not worthy of representing god to his people… yes, his original  instructions were important but we still missed the big picture, well I believe that jesus was god’s instruction manual to humanity/people, It’s of my personal opinion that jesus was an uncomplicated ‘user manual’ for humans.

It’s of my own personal opinion that the person that jesus displayed and acted and lived, combined with jesus words that the two most important commandments were to ‘love everyone like yourself’ and to ‘worship god with all that you have’… it’s my opinion that god was simply reiterating to humans/people that the god of Israel, Isaac and Jacob, the god of christians is a loving god, he cares about people and doesn’t see any of us as more important that anyone else, he sees us all as equals, he judges us all as equals, none of us are any more, or any less important than our peers, that every person that has every lived and died on earth is judged evenly not because we are rich or poor, or attractive or not, whether we have pretty clothes or fancy cars or beautiful homes or if we live in caves or in boxes, whether we are religious leaders or not, we are judged evenly because we are all equal and share equal importance… its my opinion that god taught us through jesus example that looking attractive or trendy wasn’t important, what was important was treating everyone else as your equal and to worship him, it’s my opinion that worshiping him is living like him, living like the simple example of how jesus represented himself—simple and unimportant who loved everyone as equals and lived a simple lifestyle, and he did not appreciate hypocrites, and mostly the religious leaders that were hypocrites of what they taught.

If you ask me why I am a christian I will tell you that I perceive/believe jesus of nazareth to be the messiah that was promised by the god to the nation of Israel, and that being a ‘child of god’ doesn’t depend on where you grew up and what nation you happen to be from, and I will further explain that the humble example of jesus is how I try to live my life, and that loving and treating everyone as my equal--not anymore or any less important than me—is what is important to me… and that’s about it, I don’t try to over complicate my faith/religion much beyond that, I believe that you are every bit as important as me and that I am no less important than anyone, I believe that loving/caring/helping other people and making sure we all have essential things like food water and shelter is also very important, and I believe that anything much more than that is over complicating the religious philosophy that I follow, I follow jesus and the example that he made for humanity/people, and I believe that because he wasn’t a hypocrite, in fact he was the complete opposite, he was the complete opposite of a hypocrite because he believed what he taught to the point that he died over it, he understood the importance of his life example that when he was judged over it he didn’t sell-out, he didn’t compromise his integrity and do the safe thing by taking everything back, he didn’t try to pull one of those ‘sorry, not sure what I was thinking’ kind of selfish ways of trying to save his life, he knew what he taught, he knew it was correct and he was willing to die over it, in fact he did die over it.

If you ask me what it means to be a christian, or why I follow the christian religious philosophy I will tell you that I don’t know every reason why but the person that I choose to follow was a simple, loving, and a sincere man that happened to be the messiah, and I’ll also tell you that I don’t think you are less important than me if we don’t follow the same religious philosophy, if you don’t wear the same clothes as me, that I won’t think less of you or more of you based on the possessions that you have acquired or the shelter that you live in, and I might even get to the point where I explain that I think the biggest obstacle between people and our god is our own ego, I think that when a person’s ego becomes more important than other people, and a person’s ego becomes more important than god there is a problem… and that when I give into my own ego I found it easy to judge other people and to pay more attention to their negative qualities rather than loving them, and when I let my ego run wild I found it easy to think that the example of jesus is too impossible to follow so I am good enough for now, I found that it was easy to be a hypocrite when I trust my own ego rather than being sincere and authentic and following the simple example of Jesus of Nazareth.

I know from history that many people that have claimed to be christians only understood part of the truth, some people that have claimed to be christians but do not act like the example that jesus displayed may understand that he is the messiah, but did not hear his teachings about loving our neighbors and helping others, and that you don’t need to chase after fancy things or to look cool and attractive, many people have missed the most important part of his message, to love others as yourself and to follow the example of jesus like you mean it, lot’s of people missed that point. History tells us that about 6000 years ago god told abraham what he expected and what was important in life but many people understood it wrong, we got it wrong to the point that about 4000 years later he sent us an example and gave us further instructions about what was important in life, but many still got it wrong. Many people have claimed to represent the god of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and have missed god’s ‘big picture’, his point. Many people have claimed to represent the god of John, Luke, and Peter and have missed gods intentions. Many people have claimed to represent the god of judea-christian values/origins yet have committed horrific human atrocities in the name of their god, many people have misunderstood the importance of loving everyone as your equal, some people call it ‘humanity’, many people on the wrong side of humanity have done so under the false label of christianity… 2000 years after the death of my own ‘personal messiah’ there are hypocrites and terrible teachers that jesus spoke against during his years, we have had them for many thousands of years these hypocrites, many people that forget the importance of humanity and treating people as equals have done so while claiming to represent the god that I choose to follow and now realize there are consequences for their actions.

Looking back I can see now that I mislead/lied to you, I lied because earlier I wrote that I wouldn’t give you my opinion of Christianity because I didn’t feel ‘compelled’ to, but now I see that I do feel compelled to write my opinion, because of the shameful misrepresentation and interpretation of christians and christianity written in several ‘news’ (actually opinion) articles about ‘conservative christians worshiping donald trump and are a threat to usa’. The ignorance of such opinions suggest that a christian would suddenly change all of their beliefs to instead worship a rich flamboyant ego, I can’t think of anything further than the truth even though I voted for donald trump twice, and my reason for voting for him was based on factors that his ignorant critics cannot comprehend, non-christians cannot understand very simple reasons why some christians voted for him, they cannot understand because they do not understand the simplicity of christianity. It is not difficult to identify the over inflated ego that trump has, yet he claims to be christian…Joe Biden represents himself as a ‘catholic’ which is a denomination of the christian religion. I voted for donald trump in 2020 because there were two men that claim to represent some type of christian faith running for president and one of them understood that ‘aborting’ killing an unborn child is killing.   Abortion is killing/ending the existence of people that have no ability to defend themselves yet, but they are still alive. Abortion may seem like a logical solution to a confusing and difficult situation based of life circumstances, no matter how normal or terrifying the circumstances are which brought a new life into existence, it’s still killing. So back to president joe biden, if he believes that he can somehow convince god that the simple fact that the u.s. supreme court classified unborn children as anything else than what they are, if biden believes that he can win that ‘argument’ with the god that plainly told us ‘do not kill’, if anyone believes they can win any argument with god because their warped ego thinks contrary to basic and simple wisdom that most parents try to teach their children every day, well if anyone that claims to be a christian and approve/supports the killing of children, and then doesn’t understand the hypocrite that they have become, well they might be in for the surprise of their life if they can try to suggest to god that an unborn child is nothing more than a complex grouping of biological cells… good luck with your presentation, make sure to practice your power-point slide show while you expect to convey your nonsense to the same god that couldn’t have stated any clearer ‘do not kill’, I wish you well with your presentation to god, you should put your ‘best people’ on it and make sure the teleprompter is at the correct angle so you will not be overly distracted, and good luck with that. God is not over-complicated but compromised politicians and religious leaders will over-complicate the simplest of ideas… people and our ideas are easy to manipulate by carefully explaining a different perspective… but you must eventually quit being a hypocrite because god has no room for hypocrites that try to steer people away from what is important in life, you won’t be manipulating god… so either keep practicing your argument that you intend to have with god, or get real with yourself and understand that there will be no arguing with the one who got it right from the start, and understand that actions have consequences. If a politician, leader, or anyone you meet has compromised their integrity/ego on something as important as their religion do you wonder how many other things that 'stand for' that are also compromises and are empty statements and promises... you should because they will compromise anything if it's rewarding enough.

My words sound angry to some people, they sound reasonable to others, they sound absurd to others, and make other people say ‘right on’… but my words only have to be straight-up with god.

There is one more important thing that I forgot to mention about Jesus’ teachings… he taught that god isn’t a terrifying imaginary beast with false expectations of humanity, he taught that the god of abraham was more or less a concerned dad and an unassuming one at that, a dad that feels every emotion that we feel, understands the difficult struggle that goes on in our minds every time we over-complicate situations because we all take our eyes off of what’s really important in life, and he also understands when we let our ego get out of control and become full-fledged hypocrites that need correction. He also taught that corrective action doesn’t have to ruin anyone’s life, it can be as simple as understanding where you went wrong and being straight up with yourself, maybe others around you, but most importantly acknowledging to god that you ‘get it now’. My perception of the religious philosophy that I choose to follow is that jesus was the messiah that was promised to abraham, and that he came to straighten a few things out with the descendants of abraham, and he did so by his simple teachings and by the simple lifestyle that he lived, and that simple message is important enough for me to tell my own kids about… maybe just because I’m a concerned father too, right? -- christopher

Comments - Criticism