...if folks are curious enough about this website or about me as a person they might end up poking around and ending up here, reading some blog entries/posts, blog posts are where i write about most of the real things that are important to me, and about other things to, sometimes things that bother me for some reason, and i also write about other silly ego revealing things that nobody needs to waste their time reading... but mostly its where i write about things that i think are important somehow, i'm not a professional anything, so there will be ignorance written below, but i trust that the reader can discern the baby from the bathwater, i do hope to stimulate your noggin enough to do some of your own research using your own critical-reasoning... i write for my own health, and to my offspring/kids, and to anyone else that cares to read. --  ct
 June 2022
06-30-22:  reading stephen king's memoir 'on writing', it's pretty good man, and it's good in the sense that he's not a prim and proper museum-piece that's writing to victorians, he writes how he looks, a bit unabridged and humble and mostly transparent and a bunch of raw... so now i'm a point in his book where he's starting to give some really good pointers/tips to aspiring authors (grudgingly me), and the sumuthabitch gave me a frickin homework assignment, go figure, i get a nice father's day present/book and it's still gonna cost me... fine... i might actually do it though, i wasn't looking for a textbook type of thing when i considered the book, but i do appreciate a decent exercise to get me noggin's juices flowing, and a thousand words isn't a dreadful assignment when your as old as me (i appreciate that Stephen was my age when he wrote this book, maybe that's why i can follow him so well, or maybe he's a good writer, or something)... i'm not a fiction writer, but what the heck, i'll take his bait, i might even take him up on his invitation to send him the result (albeit 20 years late, i received the 20-yr anniversary edition), maybe he'll still remember that he offered it... anyhow, i really love the book, maybe you won't, but i do, i knew that he'd offer some great insight into writing even if we are polar-opposite genres, he did, even if scholars will tell you that it's elementary at best (good, that's what i need as a rookie)... Grandpa's, then Uncle's toolbox, Writer's toolbox, all good stuff man, nouns and verbs, punctuation, sentences and paragraphs, plenty of do's and dont's and some more critical than others, yeah man, i was hoping that it would be this sort of presentation/lesson and written in a style that i appreciate...
... not much else to write about, i could complain about a bunch of things, i could sell products and ideas that i appreciate, i could just tell you a shitload of things that you might want to hear to make you coming back for more, but really, well, i don't have much more internet time right now, cable (internet source) was shut-off this morning and i'm borrowing giga-bytes from my cell phone's crappy plan to get on the webber-net thing, you know, the inter-blog www thingy... look, you know the network browsey thing that i'm talking about, don't be a schmuck now... so tomorrow the wife get's paid and the VA gives me a little sumtin, so cable get's turned back on tomorrow (if comcast waited one more day this paragraph be a waste of time and i'd have something else to write about), and we pay rent, and a zillion other things, and we'll be broke again before you can say long holiday weekend, such is life during this season of life...
... one more thing, i hate that i'm even writing political criticism, but after a bit of a hiatus i came back and posted a bunch of crap recently, mostly talking points with a little meat in between, it's mostly on the political section of this crummy website bloggy thing... have a great evening, or whatever it is wherever you are at the time of this reading.  --  ct
06-28-22:  what a day, the weather was beautiful in rockingham county, the birds were singing, and the noisy-ass motorcycles were at a minimum on south main street, what more can a simple guy ask for, right... and everything seemed to go well, and as planned/expected, until the accident... daughter and i are OK in the physical sense, but she did get a cute little raspberry lipstick smudge looking abrasion on her forehead--stupid steering wheel--that makes her look tough, and then there is the emotional scar thing, too, we'll work on that... i think i got my knee on the dashboard, which i noticed after limping a bit later, and then after standing around this little patch of growth picking up the plastic parts that got scraped-off the car from hitting the berm, well after searching through that patch of vegetation and pine needle on the roadside i actually started to take notice that i was ankle deep in healthy/bright/shiny poison ivy, lucky me, the vegatation wasn't happy wild flowers or pretty ornamental ground covering, it was the unofficial NH state plant... i was wearing shorts and boat shoes, so any irritation that i get will probably be on top of the sunburn that has already blotched by pasty white ankles and foot-tops, perhaps the dots on top of the blotchy background will yield some dimensional contrast that my ankles are currently missing... the police were awesome, the one coolest and youngest looking cop counseled her a bit in a motivational way that i probably couldn't have pulled-off being the dad, but he encouraged her, and got her to agree to drive back home despite the emotional TKO that she just experienced, he told her about the time that he knocked over every safety cone at the police academy driving course in front of all of his peers and cadre, but he did well after some determination and perserverence... anyways, everyone is safe and physically fine, my older daughter's car needs a bunch of loving/attention/work right now... clips, retainers, and spray paint are on top of the shopping list, there's a lot of plastic to get back on the old ford, the thing covering the bumper looks like huge black teeth with braces, it's not a good look on a silver car... what a day... the kid did good for her first accident, she did not so good on most of the driving part though, there is work/education/effort and experience to be had... best line of the day, from my daughter, 'i was crying so much my snot ran into my mouth'... i hear ya girl, it's salty ain't it.  --  ct
06-27-22:  so i've been picking my nose for days now, maybe two or three of them... no no no, not the inside parts, the outside, OK fine, maybe 'peeling' is a better word than 'picking'... it's been awhile since my nose was this sunburned, and i've been going at it like crazy today, but it seems as though i'm removing the parts that started to look nicely tanned, and i'm uncovering more bright pink underneath it... anyhow, i don't want to consume too much time/words/data focused on my schnoz/carrot/beak, because my noggin got just as burned as the nose, and it's starting to peel too... it's a shame to see all of the tan disappearing as the layers flake-off, revealing the bright pink skin underneath... look, i don't mind a little discomfort from time to time, the shiney red eventually fades into something less white than my typical coloration, but i don't want to end up like micheal jackson and require a nose prosthetic when i'm older and more ripe... maybe that's the scare/motivation that i need to be a bit more careful with my time in the sun, don't end up like MJ man!  --  ct

06-27-22 later:  my oldest daugher bought me a copy of Steven King's 'On Writing' for Father's Day, i'm diggin it... i started it a few days ago, a few minutes here, and a few there, and today i started the second part... so far the coolest part is that he wrote this book at the age of fifty-three, which is the age that awaits me the first week of august this year... he's humble, transparent, and matter of fact in this 'memoir of the craft', which is what you want from everyone really, but you only get it from a small percentage of the population, and more so in older folks than younger one's... anyways, i want to write as a source of income in the near future, so, you know, i'm reading a book written by someone that does that, and so far he hasn't disappointed... thank you Hannah, and Steve.  --  ct
06-26-22:  just writing for the sake of writing, not much to really communicate, nothing structured or properly investigated/researched, no words of wisdom or humor to share, nothing very deep to ponder... just trying to get motivated... last week was different, it was a blessing, it was restful, it was probably even necessary to a degree, but after the vacation i have a mental list of things to do, and responsibilities that need more attention... i did my usual thing when i don't have enough information to finish a project, i got hung-up working on some details with seemingly no real progress, i tend to get thoughts trapped in the noggin and not on paper/text, and then the more of life/distractions/stressors and new responsibilities that arise then the more the thoughts stay trapped and don't come to fruition... i did that with a few things, now i'm trying to get motivated and re-focused, i need to get a few more lists of things that i probably have to do in order to help the visual learner in me, i don't have the memory that i desire, so i need the visual reminders that i neglect... OK, so more lists, this has been a productive post, well at least for me it is/was and should be.  --  ct
06-23-22: happy thursday to you... here is a small list of things that i could have done last night, but i didn't:
... powered a small city, the reader assumes correctly that i am not a biologist, and i'm not really sure how the storage of solar radiation works, but i know that my pasty-pink skin absorbed enough solar radiation to charge a few teslas, a dozen plug-in hybrids, twenty to thirty super-bowl parties, and maybe even that raging bender that a bunch of punk-ass delinquents hosted at someone else's residence without their permission last weekend...
... guided ships to safety, i'm at a beachfront seasonal home right now, the visible lighthouses out on the atlantic are pretty impressive, but my bright/shiny dome/noggin can probably be seen from space, not just fifty miles on the open water, praying that the radiation didn't cook the roots of what little hair remains, maybe they will change color now, or curl, or start parting in the back somewhere, i just hope i don't loose much more due to the radiation exposure...
... melted a portion of antartica, i was pretty chilly even when it was 65 degrees yesterday afternoon, so there is no way that i would have done well in a polar region, but five minutes worth of snow angels on our southern cap and i probably would have knocked earth off it's axis and caused tsunamis and rising tides everywhere... sure glad i didn't do that last night...
... heated an open stadium, you wouldn't have to stand too close to warm your hands either, i wore cotton to bed from fear that synthetic materials would melt, good call too, my PJs are slightly singed...
...  rent myself to the neighbors as a patio-heater, i dunno, big stretch there
...  sat in front of a sun-lamp... yeah man, why not keep it going even after the sun goes down, maybe the worse idea ever...

and then here is a small list of things that i definitely did last-night:
... remembered why sunscreen was invented...
... searched high and low for some moisturizer to comfort my leathery/scorched skin (found some)...
... thought about the folks that i spent the day with and hoped they weren't as crispy as me...
... wondered how much remedial sun-exposure education/counsel my family will subject me to when they see me again...

... i woke up this morning to the sounds of fog horns, waves, and birds... as i'm finishing this post i noticed that the fog has burned-off, and it's sunny now... sh1t man, i'm gonna have to be more careful today... not sure where you are, or what you are doing, but blessings from the sea-side today... and hey, don't go collecting too much solar radiation, i took more than my fare-share yesterday, and i'd be happy to give you some.  --  ct 

06-23-22 later:  some things that i did on my summer vacation -- by christopher francis:
but firstly, let me explain that my 'summer vacation' has actually been this past week, while staying in a modest little sea-side home in winthrop, ma... the home was built either before i was born, or shortly afterwards, by my mom's side of the family ... i probably visited/stayed here anywhere from a week to a month between my earliest memories/years and when i enlisted in the army shortly after graduating high school... so, as i was saying... some things that i did on my summer vacation...
... traveled through time, well, my mind sort of did, i had a zillion memories from years past while forming new memories based on current environmental feedback, that's sort of like time travel, right?!@#$... look, i don't care what you think, i'm calling it time-travel because i'm the type that believes that our souls are somehow or another 'endless', and so maybe i haven't traveled to the future, but i've traveled from about fifty years ago, all of the way up through the 'h' that i just typed at the end of 'through', all in tiny little chunks of brief memories/moments in time, that's partly what i did this week, my eternity past thru current, all in tiny little bursts of visual journal/memories...
...  tie-dyed my skin, i have a few tie-dyed shirts that my daughters had made over the past few years, they are bright and colorful and make me smile, and the folks responsible for crayola crayon 'colors of the world' collection have labeled my particular skin tone 'very light rose' (i think they are assholes for labeling my skin tone as such), and so when a guy that lives at the edge of the woods suddenly has access to more than my fare share of sun exposure you end-up with this sort of tie-dyed looking skin effect, granted the color pallet is limited, but it's still a legit full-blown tie-dye sort of affect, it's quite bright and brilliant in a few spots...
...  sat still and relaxed more than i'm used to
...  stayed barefoot more than i'm used to
...  squinted an awful-lot, it can be pretty bright by the water
...  fixed a bunch of random stuff, and identified a bunch of other stuff that needs to be replaced (not fixed)
...  talked to at least a dozen strangers
...  walked more than i'm used to, walking barefoot in sand is quite different than shoes on pavement and grass
...  talked on the phone more than expected
...  wished i brought a couple more sweatshirts, i just have one stinky one right now
...  got a haircut
...  really appreciated the mocking-birds around here, what a treat they are to listen to, nature's entertainment
...  re-hung the tail-pipe on our new-old car, this time with 12-g electrical wire
...  thought about a lot of people/loved-ones
...  surprised that my back and shoulder haven't been as achy as i'm used to, yoga maybe
...  wondered why i brought so many tools, and then used almost every one of them
...  wished that i had more resources to help maintain the family cottage
...  realized how badly i need a job now, july is NOT looking good financially speaking
...  slept pretty well on a soft bed even though i'm a firm mattress kind of guy
...  talked about my wife and kids a lot
...  started a new book, and ordered another one that's waiting at home
...  felt cold more than expected
...  appreciate not having a schedule
06-22-21:  i'm covered in a raging sunburn today, i don't know what to say about my scalp right now, other than it's quite tender and red, and i'm pretty sure that my skull is sunburned too, my noggin's about medium rare to medium tonight... anyways, i got my annual sunburn and it's really starting to feel like summer now... i got to see some family today, folks that i haven't seen in a decade or so, pretty cool right, and some of my closer cousins were here too today, and one of my uncles too, yeah man, it was a pretty great day mostly due to company... i'm just writing to write, and to say 'hi' to some readers, my melon is too fried to put sentences together, so 'hello', and God bless, and peace-out, for now.  --  ct
06-19-22: i'm not going near politics or current events today, and probably not tomorrow either, just laying low and enjoying the salt air in the state where i was born and raised... i write negatively about MA quite a bit, but once you get away from the government and politics its quite beautiful in many areas, this little beach is one of those spots, and 99 percent of the folks that we've bumped into make eye-contact and greet you with a smile or a friendly hello, maybe it's the beach that brings-out the best in people, or maybe most people at the beach are away from the stresses of daily routines and responsibilities and free enough to appreciate the very edge of north america, waves are crashing a footballs-throw away, and it's a quiet night in Winthrop, i stayed in jeans and a hoodie most of the day, blessed by the wife and daughters company until a couple of hours ago, and now it's just as quiet as you could imagine, literally no sounds by the ocean, an occasional plane, and this keyboard... yeah man... a brief change in venue is pretty weird for me, it's not that i'm unaccustomed to the concept of vacationing, but our family doesn't live in fantasy-land, we are working-class that can find a zillion things to prioritize our financial resources towards, but vacationing isn't really one of the things that we budget for, it's a treat, there is therapy in it when you can maintain peace (and for me that means mostly quiet too), i'm no longer a concert or sporting event kind of guy, i appreciate nature's sounds and muted society more than anything really, and the past few days have reminded me of that... all you can hear are waves right now, it's brilliant... i wish i could fax you the sounds, and email you the smell of the air, and text you sensation of zero distractions... i don't know how i ended up here, but it's about as peaceful as you can imagine, the sound of an occasional aircraft is the only thing that interferes with nature's sounds, logan international airport is just right over there a bit, right now the planes are flying out toward the open ocean, they have been coming in from that direction most of the weekend...
... in the past seven days my Dad had a birthday, and then my son was stationed at a new venue, and then my wife had a birthday, and then my in-laws anniversary, and then today is father's day... actually it's been a bit of a blur, so maybe that's what makes the quiet and solitude a bit of a treat, the blue-screen of the laptop and the kitchen light are the only sources of light right here right now, i wish i could i/m you sensation of the dim lights with the sounds of the crashing waves... thinking about a lot of people and a lot of things right now, God has to listen to all of it, the reader just has to put up with a bit of it... i'm a product of the actions of two people, and the blessing of the Creator of life, and right now i'm embracing all three of them, i'm enveloped within the universe, and sitting in a seasonal home where my Mom's side of my family has many memories with more still to come, and right now i'm thinking of my Dad, if you are the praying type please consider doing so for my Dad, he got himself in a bad place health-wise, and is fighting to get back to a healthy lifestyle again, i'm glad that he got to see another father's day, that may sound a bit harsh, but my Mom just passed this mother's day, and Dad's health isn't so great, so it's a fair statement with all things considered... there are lot's of things/memories/people to consider, God has to listen to all of it, you just have to read a bit of it... enjoy the long weekend.  --  ct
06-17-22:  not going to read a whole lot this week, at least i don't plan to, trying to shut-off noisy distractions and focus on the task at hand... the task at hand is leisure and i'm not so good with that type of thing, i am to a point, and then i need to explore, or fix something, or, or, or... well, i'm hoping that this week will be a nice mix/balance, i want to make the most of the opportunity, so some relaxing and some writing mixed-in with beaching and some projects around the venue ought to occupy my time pretty well, i'm looking forward to poking around the sand-bars at various tides and see what types of wildlife get's stuck in the tidal pools... so you know, beachy sorts of stuff, but the open water is frickin cold, i won't get in it unless i have to this time of year, but the tidal pools will be nice, and i might wade into the surf long enough for my ankles and feet to turn blue just because it's there... i'm such a wuss with water temp... anyways, the temp is perfect, a nice breeze, bags unpacked, and i already got to see a relative that i haven't seen in entirely-too-long... so far so good.  --  ct

06-17-22 later: i should mention that i didn't bring Mom, well, i didn't bring her ashes is more like it... i'm staying at the the location where she wanted her ashes to be mixed in with the sand and sea... this isn't the time to do that, but i had contemplated bringing her ashes, which are doubled-bagged, and then the bags placed into an ornamental clay-pot, i thought it might be cool to bring her, pot and all, but nope, it was just a thought that i chewed-on for a bit over the past couple of weeks, but i'll bring her remains back down here when the time is right to disperse them back to nature... but my point was that i didn't bring Mom's remains to the beach this time, i will when the time is right.  --  ct
06-14-22: yeah man, tuesday... dropped the wife off at work, got some dishes done, got some laundry going, a couple of mugs of coffee, and some... crap, i forgot to eat, that was one of the things that i was going to do before i sat down and booted-up the computer, i'm already in my comfortable spot so the food can wait for a bit... look, i'm not sure what your up to today, but i pray that you can embrace the outdoors/nature/creation today, and find the beauty in the simple things that you might take for granted most days, we've got tons of vegetation blooming here in southern NH, the sights and smells and sounds that creation offers the beholder is refreshing, almost intoxicating, some sun exposure provides the vit D3 that humans require, what can you possibly do today to stop and smell the roses and appreciate creation today, i pray that you are able to do so... i'm not sure what the world looks like from your venue today, but despite living on main street there is still plenty of vegetation and wildlife that is appreciating the things that creation has to offer today, just like yesterday, whether you appreciate your environment or nature is irrelevant, because for survival sake the rest of creation is appreciating it with or without you, and making use of the simple things that life requires to continue to exist... i might dig-up a few grubs or worms to eat today to connect to my local environment, the dandelions are impressive right now, i'm thinking some yard-salad might be good today... we have a bunch of milk-weed by the side door, and it's about ready to bloom, that stuff smells crazy-good when it opens, the monarch butterflies seem to dig it, as do the bees... i have a zillion things to do inside the house today (as most days), but i'm prioritizing outdoor chores so i can utilize all of my senses to take in the things that nature offers on this hot spring day, i might be sweating like a meatloaf by noon, but hey man, gotta spend some calories doing something other than pecking at keyboards and responding to communication, unplug yourself for a bit today and breathe in the fresh air, if you live or work in the city then you can forget everything that i just wrote, but the further you get from the congestion of city-life the cleaner the air and the prettier the spring smells that you are subjected to, unless you fertilize with manure i suppose... anyways, i have a tendency to hibernate a bit and be reclusive during the cold winter months partly because i hate being cold, but there is zero excuse to do so this time of year, even when the allergies kick my ass it's hard to complain about the weather, i'll have all winter to do that... pardon me while i get a bite to eat and drag my ass outta the house and into nature.  -- ct
06-13-22:  not much to write about today, but it's beautiful in Rockingham county, it began wet, and transitioned into overcast, and then muggy/sunny, the pollen count must be pretty low too, my over-confused immune system could freak-out about any time this season and today ain't so bad  considering the time that i just spent outside... i had some great and unexpected conversation with a family member today, love when that happens, also met a friend of my youngest daughter, a kid from NM, seems like a good kid, pretty gay too, we spoke for a bit, it seems like his soul has a big story to tell at his young age already, i pray to God that he is able to articulate it to someone that can help him in the near future (yeah yeah yeah, even if it's me), the entire contents of this blog web-site thingy is basically my version of doing that, i had a real shit of a year or two and also a ton of unresolved issues  and needed a new career path which needed to be addressed during my 'reset', and then i remember hearing that 'journaling' can be somewhat therapuetic, so i started blogging as a means to help slow my ass down long enough to gather my thoughts and focus on many of the things that i think are important, and bug me, or make me want to pass the info onto to my kids for when they get old enough to be curious about their dad, but i think being open an transparent and airing-out my flaws and ignorance is also helpful for folks that are interested in psychology, i'm probably a text-book case of several different things, in blogging/writing i also communicate some things that might be interesting to note for psychology fans if considering what a fifty-something year old american does when they have recovered (or partly recovered) from an existential crisis of sorts, i had to get back to survival mode and focus on the simple things that are what's most important in life, simple things like food, water, shelter, clean air, family/friends, God... once i got back to those basics, and began getting rid of some things in my life that weren't allowing for a more realistic and sustaining/healthy lifestyle i finally had the ability to slow my thoughts down and begin articulating shit that concerns me, and in the crude and elementary writing style that allows me to communicate in a more free and natural method. less 'controlled' than writing on behalf of an organization, which is what i was typically doing when i had to write in the past... so i dunno, i find writing in a less controlled/mandated fashion to be helpful in articulating some of the shitty things that i've experienced/experiencing, because otherwise my tendency is to hold it all in and that's when i get the anxiety with the high blood-pressure thing, and then when things get really bad i do the whole depression thing too, and none of that is any good really accept to let you know that you aren't doing so hot and you probably need some help, the whole self-medicating with the booze or the drugs is usually a good indicator that you aren't doing so well and you probably need some help, i swear that drinking lot's of tasty wine to help unwinding to the point where it would also help with my insomnia was a brilliant idea, until it wasn't... it seems like different people react to stressors/stimuli/environment differently than others, i can get pretty wonky when i internalize too much/many unresolved stressors and don't adjust my environment, but writing seems to help, it's almost like a form of what Christians call 'prayer', it's like my opportunity to slow my ass down so i can communicate what's on my heart with the God of creation, i don't always do a good job of that throughout the day, but when i slow my ass down long enough to write it's sort of when i give myself a chance to let God know how i'm feeling about certain things or another, so that's how i crudely liken journaling/blogging to prayer, i think prayer is more or less our individual (and sometimes corporate) way of communicating with God, and i'm not the type that appreciates liturgical traditions, so i have to use 'creative writing' as a means to communicate my heart to God, all of that probably makes sense to someone else and not just me... i don't have much to write about today, except writing i suppose... writing about writing is about as much fun as writing for writing's sake might be... anyways, i had some good conversation about counseling/therapy human-nature and psychology today, that's all good stuff you know, especially when we combine it with the Christian philosophy that we are all imperfect, and that we need to be humble enough to know that we can be wrong and require a savior more than once in our lives, i would argue that we need a savior much more often than we care to remember sometimes, sometimes we can get a bit wonky when we take things for granted and assume that we did it without God's favor and resources and blessing, i think we can get a bit wonky and stressed when we forget our place in humanity, and we see ourselves as self-sufficient gods that know it all and that we are the only one's capable of perceiving things clearly indicating that we are perfect, i'm tellin-you that's no good, nope... so i have to throw that into the mix when i say that psychology and discerning certain elements of human nature is useful when combined with religion and certain elements of Christianity, like, none of us are perfect and never will be, the counseling and therapy seem like methods that most people need to evolve/grow/mature, i think i got too religion-competitiveness/zealotry for years in that i didn't appreciate the seemingly impossible separation between science and religion, and it hit me hard actually when i started secondary education as a science major and went through a sort of 'religious' experience/conversion/understanding at about the same time as schooling, almost thirty years or so later i appreciate reading everything and anything and seeing how it intersects with simple rules of nature and principle's of God and the religion that i more or less subscribe to, i appreciate science, but i don't want to wear a lab-coat or be the lab-rat either... anyhow, i don't have much to write about today, the house is empty and about as quiet as living on main street can possibly be, so i'm using some time to write about writing, and why i don't have much to write about... that pretty much sums-up part of my day today... please pray for my dad, he's reaching-out for help now, it seems like he's past much of the danger now, but still fragile in some sense... also, my son starts a new assignment tomorrow, and he's stuck traveling today, he might appreciate the prayer as well... God bless. -- ct

06-13-22:  OK, i'm about as smart as you, but actually, you might be much smarter than me, probably so, good for you, use your talents and gifts to better your life and the lives of others that appreciate the golden-rule, so now that we've established that much, i'll tell you that i read some severely heady folks talk about simple thing things which they must utilize very technical language (and semi-established) to categorize simple items and concepts to theorize simple concepts, but, awww, forget it... but i've been reading and listening to very smart people talk in circles about very simple concepts that involve something that many people/customs/tribes/civilizations refer to as a 'God'... man, let me tell you what, some very smart people write about things that suggest an intelligent universe that maintains some sort of balance, but to suggest that there is some sort of ultimate/supreme being that gave us life is just a non-starter for some very smart people that refuse to grasp/observe/accept the obvious, certain self-evident yet commonly understood truths, or however you want to describe the execution of grasping the obvious, which brings me to a touchy subject 'selected/chosen' or those who respond favorably to the common acceptance to an idea of a God of some sort, different cultures different ideas, but you get me, right?  Anyhow, i appreciate reading and listening and watching very smart people communicate theories, and the articulation of their own  theory-of-everything is telling... humble yourselves you wicked smart folks, don't waste your talent/DNA/time/energy on vanities, the faster we grasp the obvious the more meaningful our lives/existence can become, we want to help others and work for common good without being forced to do so like the communist/dictator-types prefer, the ability to grow/evolve to an ever changing environment/world is everyone's struggle, and to do so without the acceptance and favor of God seems near impossible to a simple fool like me... but i still appreciate listening to Joe Rogan Experience episode 1829, Bobby seems pretty smart, consider the variable/theory/scripture of 'abiding in the vine', better to get past the reality of God so you can move directly into abiding in such a vine and using your time and energy and genetic gifts to help yourself while contributing to other humans benefit as well... it's disappointing listening to smart people talk in circles about theories without a simple foundation of a theory of everything which is to acknowledge the ulitmate reality, but i just call him 'God' and sometimes 'Father', but whatever... get past your smart-talk and tell me what your TOE is substantial enough to change your life for the good, and makes you want to give back to society in a positive way, that's a bit telling in someone's understanding of reality, anyways, that was a decent rogan episode.  --  ct
06-11-22:  my favorite tv show has a good season this year, this year's participants all seem exceedingly capable, even the guy that tapped-out did so for companionship's sake, not because he couldn't harvest nutrients... some folks tap-out because of physical accidents, some because they can't get enough calories, some because they eat something that they shouldn't have or under-cooked something, some out of necessity for human contact or loved-ones... this year's participants look to be about the most capable of any previous season, i hate to see them have to leave hen they do, but for 500k i'd jump at the opportunity for an adventure like that, too bad i hate the cold weather, one of many weaknesses in my part, but how could you not want to live out in nature with minimal restrictions and ten reasonable tools to help you out... if you ever have the time to watch any episodes of 'Alone', do yourself a favor and look at what some folks that are willing to push pass their comfort levels for a hundred days or so, some folks on some seasons probably weren't real about their expectations and ability to adapt to uninhabited masses of land, i'm hooked on the series, and this season's participants aren't disappointing, i sort of feel bad for the young guy that already went home, but he did so for noble reasons, not because he was out of his league.  --  ct
06-10-22: i'm doing the whole political thing again, i went full brandon-critic today since listening to him vomit nonsense on kimmel, like a true DNCer brandon showed that he is the divider in chief... i affectionately call him 'the brandon in chief', he hasn't asked me to stop yet, so i'm assuming that he's OK with it. anyhow, than you for those who have reached out after my mom's passing last month, i've backed-off from most writing since then, with an exception or two here and there. summer vacation is in effect, june tenth this year, nice... i've got to get a job pretty soon, but i refuse to work for anyone, or any institution that has vaccine mandates or will require me to mask or be routinely tested because i didn't volunteer for the mass serum-expirement, so that limits me a bit, and then what i'm still able to do physically with limited repetition, that's a bit limiting too, and then my political beliefs aren't popular with about 30 percent of society... i dunno, i sort of like the self-employment sub-contract type of work, it's not very consistant... so despite my limitations i still need to get a job soon, we can't afford electricity to cool the house this summer without additional income, so who know's what i'll end up doing, i think part-time remote customer service or operations/support type of gig, i'd prefer to write with something specific/foccussed, i think... i got thrown-off from routine on a personal writing project that should have been done by now, since the political folks aren't paying me nickel i'm going to try to refrain from getting very involved with any current event/topic, but i still have to vent sometimes...
... the wife and i are starting to put more focus on relocating, we don't know exactly where and when, but we do have some ideas, probably closer to extended family in tornado-alley, we know that our current venue is not going to work beyond a year or so, and that's if my sanity can handle the summer noise that's coming up, every fvcking dickhead with a custom exhaust likes to race their shitboxes up and down main street, and we are only twenty feet or so off of the street, so the gearheads that don't give a crap how much noise they force on others around them really bug me by the end of the summer, especially the one's that are proud of their toys and dysfunction, the folks with normal exhaust don't bug me, and neither do the folks that don't drive with high RPMs, but the knuckleheads that love to race their idiot-machines past the house make me want to own a flame-thrower and practice using it, often... so relocating, i think i had been scared to do so when we talked about it several years ago, now that i don't require an extravagant lifestyle and not tied-up with some silly career i think i have a bit more freedom to head westward... the youngest is supposed to graduate next year so that is sort of target time of moving, but i won't put God in a box... OK, off to do a chore.   -- ct
06-02-22:  not sure yet if it's a blessing or a trap, time will tell... there are many traps disguised as blessings, and i've fell into some of them, and had to claw my way back out of them, sometimes the education/experience was good enough, other times i had to strike back and i don't like having to do so, it seems like i'm getting a little old for counter-anything, so please let me know what's-up and just ask me for help instead of manipulation and setting traps, i'm a nice guy but hit back very hard when necessary... good talk?  --  ct
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