Life Lessons That I Probably Learned a Bit Too Late in Life...

Stubborn people and other slow learners are similar to me, and have to learn important life lessons the hard way, the way that i had learned many important things too... i'm a bit old and worn out in some respects and hopefully some of the lessons that i learned the painful way might be easier for the reader to better understand... the reading below are mostly just excerpts from blog entries which you can find in their entirety if you poke around the website enough... anyways, hope you enjoy, and maybe learn a lesson or two, we are never too old or too young to comprehend what others haven't taught us already... how willing are we to change our preconceived thoughts, and whether or not we are willing to challenge ourselves, and our assumptions and not be so quick to simply judge others and their ideas... these are challenging questions that we are required to ask ourselves if we are to evolve as individuals... look--i'm a simple guy, but maybe you can learn something from the simple words written below... that's one of the objectives/reasons as to why i write.   --  ct

01-08-24:  there is this thing we do, some of us do... this thing where we create, sometimes quickly

12-29-23:  there is this thing that i do, and that a bunch of people do too... we might hear advice, and not really know how to apply it until we learn the lesson of the advice THE HARD WAY, until some experience smacks you upside your head... my advice to the reader, try not to be that guy... good advice contains principles of reality, principles of reality can be applied to many things, areas, interests, true principles have many applications... my advice to the reader, don't be embarrassed to ask follow-up questions to what might seem like obscure advice... sometimes you know you have to walk through the valley of the shadow of death, and are going to be tested on lot's of difficult things, some things you will learn the hard-way, some things you'll remember solid/truthful principles/advice... we don't know what we don't know, we think we are smarter, or have better understanding, or facts then we really do; but, we are also more capable in other areas than we think we are... sometimes we walk through shit-storms to how us how much more we are capable of, and how much more real/loving/faithful/close/caring God and man really are... no one loves a shit-storm, or, the valley of the shadow of death, but they come, some burdens are carried longer than others, but they come to pass.  --  ct

 12-24-23:  i could probably put this post under any section on this crummy website-thing, but my theology/opinion has shifted much regarding some 'principles' that some Christians hold dear to their perception of reality... i don't know that we are 'born sinners', i know that we are born with certain instincts/genetics, i know that the second we pop from the womb we are as 'sin free' as we will ever be this side of physicality... much of life is reclaiming/recovering what we lost, re-calibrating priorities, taming our ego/hubris, getting back on the straight and narrow path/road, reconciling our past/history/experiences/education with our current perception of reality and environment, and serving both God/Creator, and creation... whatever the depth of your past/actions/life-style, no matter how passive or aggressive your sins toward humanity may be, you need a starting-point to get re-acquainted with God... no one has the full inside scoop on everything God, no particular denomination, or religion... everyone has it skewed to some extent, and no one is ever perfect, or, 'ready enough' to begin their purposeful relationship with God... everyone has to start some-place, with zero guarantee of getting it all right, or ever totally understanding of God, Reality, or The Universe... so, let me help you get started, how about something like 'hi God, it's me, please help me get back on track in any area of my life where i need correction, or am missing something that's kind of important, please reveal yourself to me, please open my eyes to the truth'... that doesn't seem overly religious now, does it... the hard part for some folks are admitting that they aren't God, that there actually is a God, and that they require some form of correction, or, reminder about important things that they may have forgotten, or, never fully understood... if it's been a while since you've tried to connect with God, or, if you never really tried, then i triple dog-dare you to mindfully/literally pray what i just wrote, don't be a lazy coward, now is about a good of a time as any to renew your relationship with our Source/Creator/God, and, for those who have been long-time friends/children of God, you probably know that the simple little prayer is worthy of daily consideration... best of luck on your journey, sometimes a little luck/favor/blessing/help can go a long way... God speed. -- ct

12-09-23 more later: in order to help my wife work through her grieving, i told her to make me a sammich... i'm gonna chalk this up to a life-lesson, the kind you learn the hard way...
 ... none of that is true actually, it's just some comedic-material, comedy helps me work-through certain things... it's probably too soon for comedy, actually, that's never been an issue for me...
 ... so, the truth is that Laura has been having some difficulty today, i'm just keeping her grounded, partly by being present, partly by giving her space, partly with humor, partly with a hug or two, partly with some 'what can i get you'... mostly with that sort of support, she hit some emotions from the time she woke-up, but she's doing far better than she explained herself to be, she just needs a goofy supportive husband that has her best interest in mind, God is certainly doing his thing too, i'm just being the goof-ball... now where's my frickin sammich... aaaay, ba-da-boom... it's probably too soon for humor... not sorry. -- ct

11-23-23:  here's some practical advice, when you go on a long road trip, bring a can or two of 'fix a flat' with you... they charge like fifteen bucks a can at the rest-stop/service-plaza things, and one can isn't enough when you are driving highway speeds... i dropped sixty bucks on four cans yesterday... i elected to do the fix a flat instead of using the cheap-ass 'donut' spare-tire that came with the car, you aren't supposed to drive greater than fifty mph on them... i don't have the patience to drive 50-mph on a ten hour drive on one of the busiest travel days of the year, and neither do the other zillion cars behind me, that's a scenario that triggers road-rage, even amongst the sweetest of old ladys... take the fix a flat with you man.  --  ct

 08-02-23: so my commitment/service/responsibility is finally over... although i've received many official mailings over the years, i've never actually had to go to 'jury duty'... i was either excused, or ended up as an alternate that didn't have to show up. Well, when they finally got me they got me good, to the tune of seven months or so... so, while i can't talk about any details of any particular cases, i can write about general/vague things... some vague things/lessons are useful for lot's of matters in life... let me give you some good advice to consider if you don't want to spend time behind bars:

* don't be a conniving asshole that victimizes other people (especially children) or institutions
* don't be a conniving asshole that exploits opportunities to commit fraud (which always victimizes someone or something)
* don't be a conniving asshole that deals in gangs, guns, drugs, or violence, especially if you already were a convicted person
* just don't be a conniving asshole, period... and, an exclamation-point (for emphasis)

 It's not very hard to navigate your life on the straight and narrow, begin by understanding 'the golden rule', and make mostly good decisions, an occasional poor decision probably won't put you behind bars, but, when you quit showing respect for other people, or for the law, and repeat that behavior with consistency, you will probably have to pay some sort of debt to society for a season, while wearing bright-orange, and quite possibly eating sub-par food surrounded by an interesting bunch of neighbors... how long that season is remains to be seen, until you get caught and sentenced, unless your last-name is clinton or biden--at least that's the way that i understand it... the DOJ folks are very good at their craft, and viable evidence is easier to gather than you might think... so my advice to the reader, don't be a conniving asshole, and for those who are, your crime might pay right now, but eventually you are going to have to answer to your victims, to the DOJ, to a cell-mate named 'Mountain', 'Psycho', or 'The Demon'... and if you never have to answer to any of them, you will still have to answer to our Maker... none of those options will be pleasant, so please heed my advice, and keep your ass out of trouble... so remember, don't be a conniving asshole, and if you are, just take your punishment, and repent... i know some ex-cons, and most of them live a more redeeming life/life-style now that they are a little older and wiser... most folks eventually grow out of their adolescence, some folks take a little longer then others, some folks require some punishment to figure things out, unfortunately some never do, everyone has to face God someday, and you won't have a manipulative attorney to represent you. -- ct

07-14-23: i don't know how/why i ended-up stumbling across a few platforms for ultra-super-mega smart people, but i did... here are a few take-aways... if you want to be smarter you can begin by making smart decisions, such as eating and hydrating well, and satisfying all physiological requirements... Mazlow's hierarchy isn't bull-shit, the Mega Foundation's CTMU wellness program is sort of like Mazlow meets basic religious/spiritual principles meets logic...
 ... exercising also improves your intelligence, and not just the body, but the mind as well, exercise your mind by reading, experiencing nature, and satisfying/exercising your curiosities, there is a brief saying 'use it or lose it', it goes for a lot of things, atrophy is a law of nature/movement, as such, it applies to tons of things, not just muscles and joints...
 ... and this last one is pretty big, too... acting like an idiot or societal puppet is a lazy person's excuse for not attempting to approach their potential/self-actualize, i spent many years doing the least possible to accomplish certain tasks, or to learn new things, i'm not very well read, and didn't care for math... movement/exercise/sport was how i chose to spend my energy... and i actually believed the people that told me i was an idiot and would never amount to anything--sorry to disappoint, Mom, but technically speaking i'm not an idiot... anyhow, some exceedingly gifted and intelligent people believe that most folks actually have Einstein's IQ, they just have other priorities, are lazy, or have no clue what their potential really is... there is a big different between lazy and stupid and misguided... my advice to the reader, don't be lazy, exercise your curiosities, and make smart choices--making smart choices exercises the noggin, and shows that you actually understand what you learned... make exercise a routine to be a bit smarter--use it don't lose it :-)


Never assume anything… that's my 'lesson learned the hard-way', for tonight... i assumed that when others are done using the condiments that they fully close/tighten the cap, but when i took out the bar-be-que sauce from the refrigerator, and proceeded to shake it before i dispensed it... well, i guess the kitchen floor needed a good cleaning anyways... the top easily shook off, and it splattered on the floor, on the cabinet door, on the counter, on my slipper... on a bad day the family would be subjected to a dad-sermon, where i preached the importance of securing lids, and how could anyone be so irresponsible, and why did someone think it was appropriate/acceptable to leave a lid so loosely attached... and... and... and... but it's not a bad day, it's a good day, and after a brief moment of frustration and dis-belief i chuckled, the splatter looked pretty funny... my words of wisdom for today... never assume anything, unless you have time to clean-up the mess (the consequences of your actions)... assumptions are an absence of awareness, logic, and reality... when you assume that other folks do what you do things can get messy in a hurry, and tonight it did....

 ... what more can we add to the 'never assume anything' truth... never assume that others understand what you understand, never assume that you understand what others do... never assume that others care about the things that you care about, or have the same morals/ethics that you do... never assume that others are really conscious of the environment that you share with them--or that you are aware of everything that they are aware of... never assume that others care about other people the way that you do... never assume that others care about God the way that you do... never assume that others who care about God worship him the way that you do, or that your way is the only 'correct way'... never assume that others possess the same vocabulary that you do, and never assume that others use the same meaning of certain words that you do... never assume that others aren't going through a shit-storm even though their appearance and demeanor say otherwise... never assume that others are willing to let their guard down and be transparent and honest... never assume that others aren't lying to you, or aren't naively regurgitating false information... never assume that others are capable of articulating what they want to communicate... never assume that others don't see/understand the obvious, or that you might be missing the obvious... never assume that others have the same resources that you have--or have access to... never assume that others are mature as you, or that you are as mature as them... never assume that others grew-up in the same kind of home and environment as you... never assume that others had the same mentors as you... never assume that others are completely sober, and aren't impaired in some way... never assume that others see what you see, hear what you hear, smell what you smell, feel what you feel, or enjoy the same taste as you… and never assume that others are as others are capable of expressing and receiving love the same way as you...

 ... never assume that others appreciate the same things that you do... never assume that others have the same sense of humor as you do... never assume that kindness is a weakness... never assume that coarseness or harsh rhetoric and truth equate to unloving... never assume that others have their 'a-game' all of the time... never assume that anything you've ever said won't be used against you in the future, and won't be taken out of context, or require further explanation... never assume that other folks idea of 'respect' is the same as yours... never assume that others are incapable of changing their minds/opinions about many topics... never assume that folks with lots of credentials have common-sense and are capable of thinking outside of the box... never assume that humble people aren't intelligent... never assume that wealthy folks have earned the right to extra respect or preferential treatment... never assume that wealth is an automatic sign of high intelligence... never assume that everyone has the gifts/talents as you, or that others have the same weaknesses/inabilities as you... never assume that equality is real, or a guarantee, or attainable... never assume that we aren't unique on purpose... never assume that you were a mistake despite the parents that you have, or that others were mistakes... never assume that you are incapable of changing unhealthy routines and lifestyles... never assume that prayer is folly... never assume that respectable people aren't subjected to frustrations, pain, and difficulties... never assume that a enjoying a good season in life means that you somehow 'arrived', or complete/whole... never assume that life won't be without pain, or that fairy-tales are reality, especially if your parents called you 'princess'... never assume that gloating/bragging isn't annoying...

 ... never assume that 'the news' reports complete and factual information, or that it isn't narrative-peddling propaganda... never assume that people that smile a lot aren't sociopaths, narcissists, or psychopaths... never assume that actors are as smart, stupid, nice, or as evil as that great role that they played... never assume that religious leaders are as perfect as Jesus, despite their appearance or performances... never assume that people remained the same since the last time that you saw or spoke to them, if they are--they somehow froze in time, and haven't evolved like people are supposed to... never assume that the 'joker/jesters' are stupid or very intelligent, but they are probably quite observant... never assume that the company that you work for has your best interest in mind, most consider you a non-critical dispensable asset, no matter what previous performance-reviews may have indicated... never assume that you won't 'wear out your welcome'... never assume that you can't figure things out, or that you won't make mistakes along the way--some mistakes are required for self-learning/discovery, and to keep you humble... never assume that God isn't paying attention to you and everyone else, he experiences the world through us all... never assume that you fully understand God, or his ways/actions... never assume that God will answer your prayers EXACTLY the way that you expect, or on your schedule, he offers many surprises... never assume that when you are an expert in something that you won't be surprised with new findings... never assume that you will get what you thought you paid for... never assume that the legal system always gets it right, or wrong... never assume that you will get what you think you voted for, actual intended consequences are buried in vocabulary of policy, and campaigning produces actors and actresses by the dozen--the 'emmy' usually goes to the best performance, not the person who is best suited for the job... never assume that you are always right, or that a 'weirdo' or 'dummy' is always wrong... never assume... never assume that children can't teach you new things, or remind you of truths that you may have forgotten...

 ... i'm sure there is plenty more to add... but i assume that you get my point :-)   --  ct

01-15-23:  spent the better part of the last few days searching through old documents, much of it was painful history, actually, it was history that was painful at the time, and for years afterward, but now i just see it as history/reality... the painful history was both physical, and the physical leads to emotional distress as well--similarly, some of the emotional turmoil sparked physical issues--and when you are going through physical and emotional issues it can really shake you to your core, and 'spiritual' problems... spiritual problems are mostly loss of the discernment necessary to see the world/reality as it really is... i dunno, i may not have worded that correctly, but scouring my way through old painful history is a bit therapeutic, no need to keep grieving and re-living the past, it's just reality, it's just bits and pieces of my life-story, they don't define me, if they did i would have been dead long ago, but i still breathe, i'm still conscious, i still move, i still feel... history is only part of our story, there is a future, the future won't always be bright, it will come with new/different pain AND joy and experiences, it comes with new memories, the future doesn't have to be as nasty and fruitless as depressive thoughts demand... depressive and anxious thoughts are both 'freeze' instincts, frozen in time and past experiences, frozen and un-calibrated discernment that prevents us from experiencing new joys, freezing fear that thinks that the pain ahead will be worse than the pain of past experiences... grieving... depression and frustration and anxiety, all grieving the past, and grieving the unknowns that are ahead... although our past may have including much grieving, the future doesn't auto-generate the same grief, there WILL BE new grief, but you are older and wiser now, and understand certain things that you can and can't really change... the past has prepared you accept the things that you couldn't/didn't change, so you know how to deal with the future better than the past, it's evolution, we all evolve and change whether we are still frozen in time from the trauma and grievances of the past or not... the future is full of new seasons, ups and downs, joys and pains... you already know that suffering exists, and that life isn't carefully cradled, coddled, and insulated, so you no longer assume that... trauma has taught you many things, but the fact that you still breathe means that you have a future that requires your attention/focus now, and IT'S NOT to be a slave to pain and fear, you have evolved, and must learn how to draw from the wisdom that you have earned, how to use your intelligence that you were gifted to make the future an enduring one, a future that you can not only help yourself, but a future where you can help others, and a future where you can help God... people make accidents, God makes resources that should be used for good... you have spent your whole life learning and discerning good and bad, that makes you intelligent, your intelligence doesn't mean that you will always be able to control everything that you want, you have learned that much already, but your intelligence will help you survive more of the pain and suffering that the future might yield, you have evolved to be able to do so, growing stronger from each experience... you are stronger and more capable than you understand, you are more intelligent than you understand, you have learned from experience, not just from books, your wisdom and understanding have grown from each passing second, the healthy and sober mind is intelligent, and is much more capable than we can imagine, it get's stronger from each passing second, and is capable of changing the world for the good, it can't control everything that it desires, but it can change the world for good... it's been written to fix our minds on things that are good, pure, and lovely--but i say that those things should be our actions, not our thoughts, we need to think about the bad as well, the bad is what contrasts the good, and it helps us understand how to use our wisdom and intelligence to do commit actions that are based on love/truth/good... the healthy ego is capable of doing much good, the unhealthy ego is retarded... the healthy ego uses intelligence and wisdom with proper discernment, the unhealthy ego uses it's knowledge for unhealthy matters, the unhealthy ego has no wisdom, it only has knowledge... there is much wisdom and intelligence in a healthy ego that is capable of changing the world for the better, even if it's only a crumb or a speck of sand at a time... history--with it's wisdom and knowledge are funny things, they are capable of shaping us in healthy or unhealthy manors, they can help us to embrace reality with it's goods and bads, or to fear it, to use our intelligence and resources for good or bad, to be useful to others or burdens, to help others or abuse them, to work for God or against him... God is the ultimate reality, and we can use our intelligence/understanding to work alongside of him, or to use coping mechanisms to protest him and the life and resources we have been given/entrusted...
... woke up feeling a little weird, but good today, i haven't written much in a few days, so i wanted to write something to kick-off the day, as long as i have life i am a useful resource, and will use the tools that i have to be useful to others... your experiences/wisdom tells you that life is mostly unpredictable, and not to assume only positive expectations, or to expect only negative ones, there is a season for everything under the sun, each season brings new experiences with highs and lows--the things that help us learn and grow in wisdom, but our personal evolution and intelligence will help safely navigate such things... fight, flight, freeze... grieving... those things happen, we learn from those things, when life throws unexpected circumstances and foreign stimuli we use Godly discernment and wisdom to survive, grow, and evolve... anyways, enjoy the rest of your weekend. -- ct

10-25-22: so is this how some 'anti-christ' comes into power, they exploit a world government like a dictator exploits/terrorizes their consticuency?  those types thrive on power and expanding their kingdoms', so they always invade other nations/neighbors... so what happens when their is a world-nation that demands citizenship... is that when humanity fights back

10-09-22:  abandoning logic/intelligence/reasoning to satisfy emotions/feelings at the cost of truth/reality is to invite the dunce-cap, and the kick-me-i'm-stupid sign on one's back... fvck, i'm pretty broke, but i'll even spring for your t-shirt proclaiming as much, we'll have it emblazoned on the front and back, but you're going to have to buy the cap yourself...
[update: here, these folks said i much nicer than me:  i can get you free one-month subscription if you can't read it]... i'll expand on cause and effect later, but glad that those folks were able to convey the simple topic that i vented about, it's easy to get manipulated if you have a strong emotional-sense, but don't explore a bit more, it handi-caps you to some extent, your emotional gift should trigger your understanding of why you feel a certain way, being led by emotions/feelings alone is the thing that drives young-confused people to act like asses, much of it is ignorance, they just haven't learned certain things yet, but as adults we have to be lead by our minds/reasoning and adapting based on logic... with all of that said... i've felt inspired to do some strange things before, they didn't quite make complete sense at the time, but felt like a 'mother's intuition' sort of thing, and sometimes the decisions were a brilliant gamble (so to speak), and other times i end-up thinking 'why did you ever think that would be a good idea'... so as much as i make the case for emotional folks to rationalize a bit more, i kind of know what it's like to be driven by emotion, some times it isn't really just emotion, sometimes it's like God is whispering something to you and you respond, i think demons can do that to us also, that sort of whispering to our emotional ears, we don't want to emotionally respond to a demon that's sort of whispering nonsense to us... if you have no sense of a sort of 'spiritual realm' then it just sounds like a physio-psycho problem, but some folks have heightened sense of emotions/feelings/senses, but if you can't sort through those to discern the truth/reality/big-picture then you are rendered an assuming ass (as they say), or ignorant as to why you felt the way that you felt, we all have to get past that point, and it's how we stay grounded and rational and exercise good situational-awareness... anyhow, i like how the mega foundation folks wrote that article, it's actually part of a wellness type of program, check-out their substack. -- ct

07-23-22: here's a tip for the reader... understand and come to grips with yourself, know your heritage and as much as you can about the lives of your parents, their genetics and environment and experiences and understanding of a personal God has influenced their lives and effected the way that you were raised... come to grips with your parent's/family's strengths and weaknesses, it will help in identifying your own... learn as much about yourself as fast as you can, don't keep the chains of your heritage around your neck, the faster you comes to grips with who you are, and why you are the way that you are the faster you can get on living life, otherwise you are just acting and stuck in neutral in a tiny puddle... God know's who you are, and what made you unique, and your strengths and weaknesses, let the ten commandments help you to understand life's opportunities and threats, seek God and to maintain communication with Him... you are valuable and were given the opportunity to experience life for many many many reasons, some of them you will come to realize, most you may never realize until you transition to the next form of life... working to bless others is everyone's responsibility for some portion of our lives on earth... the faster that you know who you are and are confident in your relationship with the only true/living God the more you can contribute to humanity... don't stay stuck in a puddle any longer than necessary, too much time/life spent in the puddle is illogical... i speak with first-hand experience and knowledge on the matter, exercising our unique utility is essential for growth and development and sustainability and sharing God's love... sitting in the puddle allows time to contemplate, but the longer you sit there the more life you are missing -- ct

05-15-22: i made a generalized comment regarding a formula for entertainment, even comedy, i received some criticism and now here's my response with some harsh reality, the harsh reality is that i'm pretty sh1tty with complicated math, and by 'complicated' i mean using letters and symbols to solve problems (i forget the symbols and what they mean), so the harsh reality is for me is that i'm pretty dern-good with wordy and physical challenges, but, the harsh reality is that my kids know not to come to me for help with math homework, they go to Laura for that, i can help them cut through the word stuff... so maybe i don't have an exact 'formula' for certain stories, but there sort of is one, and the finished products are self-evident -- ct

03-23-22:  the little book that i'm working on is going to cover little bit about a bunch of important matters/principles/theories, some physical, some metaphysical... because i'm a child of God first and foremost i need to make sure that when i write about principles/observations from humanists, and some of their contributions to society and humanity it's important to get some background... i want to apply some of Mazlow's observations/contributions, and so it's important to look a bit at the man, and some of his perspectives in relation to how he approaches psychology... anyways, i don't have a ton to write about it right now, maybe this post is just some notes for future reference, or maybe the reader will find the links useful, who knows... but as far as i am concerned the absence of God as the foundation for all of Mazlow's contributions and self-actualization is a fool's game, but i'm a simple and unqualified man, you must come to that determination/judgement yourself...
[04-05-22 UPDATE]: so the topics that i'm trying to communicate in the first publication are as follows, keep in mind that none of the topics are really detailed or expanded upon, just sort of eluded-to or literally mentioned, and it's written from the perspective of 'conversations', i suspect that the final draft will be in the eight-through-ten thousand word count:
* life--as all of creation--is a gift that's been shared by our creator
* our parents care for us to the extent that they are aware of God, or whether we choose to embrace Him or not
* parents bond with our off-spring like no other bond, i.e. God to human interface
* special/unique bond between mother and child, male seed is planted, mother's germinate and nourish children from day one, and require paternal support for sustainability
* special/different bond between father and mother and child, father's must help to provide food and drink and shelter and rest for mother and child for sustainability
* biological differences between males and females
* physiological needs parents provide for their offspring, much of which begins with mother
* parents
* parents preparing children for life outside of the home
... too tired and distracted to continue now, i didn't sleep very long last-night, and running on fumes now -- ct

02-15-22:  if there is a worthy life-lesson to pass along to my three kids today is simply this: 'we don't know what we don't know'... we may assume that we understand far more about certain things/matters based on how capable/competent we are with other things... sometimes we measure ourselves more highly than we ought to, and other times we lack confidence and concentration and curiosity to learn new things... but only a fool assumes that there is much that they still don't understand... never be foolish enough to think that you have all of the answers... to 'know-it-all' is to know nothing in the larger sense of reality... to fool oneself is the downfall of many a man and woman... so my tip of the day to the reader... understand that you don't know what you don't know, but there is an eternal god that will reveal what the humble and intelligent is willing to learn... a healthy perspective of reality is offered to the humble soul with an appetite to learn and evolve, over-confidence is to fool oneself and set ourselves up for failure and future edification and understanding in the elongated and painful type, don't be a fool.  --  ct

02-05-22:  here's just some perspectives that i posted to faceybook over a day or two, it's far from complete/thorough, but it ought to be enough to stimulate your noggin a bit:
i'm glad that the zuckerbergers have somehow turned on the 'news' feature again on this crappy platform even though i shut it off in my profile... one conservative news story and about fifty liberal news outlet stories... the shameful zuckenburgers aren't even trying to hide the fact that they are another propaganda machine... brilliant, if it weren't so damaging to younger generation and the older generations that think that FB is a great place to consume 'news' ... good grief ...
... i joined facebook a bunch of years back when the wife and i did a few things with the church's youth group, the 'kids' used facebook to contact groups of friends so it was nice, so we thought we'd give it a try... 10 years later i hate seeing how the platform is used for information gathering, dissemination/control... the only reason that i haven't left yet is so i can monitor facebook now, so i can observe... i still use it for other purposes for sure, but i need to see what others are exposed to, and i really don't like what i see ...
... if you 'liked' this post then allow yourself an hour of your time for self-edification by possibly learning from a free seminar/presentation, from a neuroscientist with direct ties to the military... the concept of 'the brain is the battleground for the 21st century' was forwarded to me more than once, and i'm finally giving the attention that it deserved... this guy is crazy smart and speaks a bit too quickly for my liking, but get your self comfortable and learn, for free: ...
... the lecture is like a intro to neurotechnology, a 101 type of primer... near the end of the presentation the Dr mentioned 'access - assess - affect' ...
... FB is free direct 'access' for smart folks to compile your psychological and even physiological and demographic profile... once you give access and begin to participate in things like 'games, surveys, tests, news consumption, etc.' then the easier you are to 'assess'... once there is enough information collected for a decent assessment then neuroscience can predict how to 'affect'... 'cause and affect/effect'... if we know how the brain works, and 'why' you think 'what' you think then we have an idea of how to communicate/manipulate/educate/trigger a desired thought/outcome/behavior/response... i think that's the heart of the story... psychological experiment's have existed for millennia, most to maintain herd control, sometimes they have been forced on participants, sometimes participants are recruited, but on FB everyone is a happy willing participant whether we know we participate in a social/psychological experiment and open ourselves for manipulation, or if we do not acknowledge such things... consider this, just because you would never think of doing something like that to other people doesn't mean that other people won't/aren't... consider an 'ethics' class, just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should... in the matter of understanding, with increased knowledge comes power, and with power comes responsibility... just because you use your own intelligence for good doesn't mean that others with their intelligence aren't using it for whatever it is that you prefer to label the opposite of good, personally speaking, i call it evil... 

01-28-22: let me try to articulate/explain the 'theory' which i utilize to navigate noise/words/ideas... i don't know what professional smart people call it, and i'm sure that smart folks have already written about it in much better detail than my average brain can formulate, but i just call it the 'theory of thirds', you've probably already heard or watched or read about it, but one of the earliest examples that i've heard about goes something like this... there is a traffic accident involving two cars, the police come and take reports of the individuals involved, and the LEO writes down two versions of the accident, driver-A's version, and driver-B's version, and the LE Professional now has two conflicting perspectives as to what happened and who is to blame for the accident, so you have two 'half-truths', but then there is another missing ingredient, it's called the complete-truth/reality, so now you have 'thirds', you have my perspective, your perspective, and the whole truth... that's a crude description of this theory of thirds, or whatever you/others want to call it... one person's perspective/story might be based on fear that they know they fvcked-up, or maybe their version of the story is difficult to understand because their use of words/language, or maybe they are genetically or otherwise impaired, or maybe they were distracted and didn't observe what they ought to have been observing... there are zillions of variables as to why some folks perceive reality one way while others perceive things differently, but none of us get it right all of the time... if you know what you know is correct, but someone interprets it quite differently/wrongly then good for you--this time, because in a few minutes they may perceive something else correctly and you are now either the fool or the humble student, it's helpful to approach life with the understanding that you can always learn from others, even if you take the approach that even a broken clock is correct twice a day, the term 'don't throw the baby out with the bath-water' might be a bit helpful when considering the theory of thirds and that you aren't right all of the time... but as stated, there are zillions of reasons why folks have conflicting views or different perceptions of the same events/words, much of it has to do with environment/education/experience, we learn different things through the filter of our intelligence/gifts/impairments as we experience the things/world around us, we learn through the filter of previous and current influencers, we learn and grow and evolve as we experience more things in life, until we start to think that we have sole-proprietary on reality and perception, that's when knuckleheads actually 'devolve', and some of those folks begin the slippery slope of becoming false teachers and predators, trust me when i say that you do not want to follow that path, because that's when the theory of thirds becomes the theory of halves or the theory of one, it's what elites live their lives by, it's their jam... i really hate me an imbecilic delusional elitist when i discern one, i could kick them in their ugly excrement-producing pie-holes sometimes, that's sort of how i feel about folks that think they have cornered the market on perceptual-perfection... to be quite frank, in my world i have to live by a theory of twenty-five/seventy-five, i assume that i'm only correctly understanding about twenty-five percent of what i encounter in life, that's a humility that delusional elites will never contemplate themselves, because they are right and those that may disagree with their words and actions are wrong, it's just how they think and what they do... sometimes they sober-up a bit and try to learn from others, Chris Langan speaks to a theory of conspansion, sometimes we grow and sometimes we take steps backward, most elitist bottom-dwellers cannot fathom the fact that they are quite wrong about many of the thoughts they think and the words that they speak and the actions that they take, they become predators which usually go unpunished/unchecked... anyways, if you haven't figured it out by now, i really fvcking dislike know-it-all 'teachers' and 'influencers' and 'policy-makers', they are the folks that lead the herd over the cliff to satisfy their immorality... everyone makes mistakes, and smart folks own up to them and try to correct them as the evolve, but some folks choose the path of devolution and self-righteousness... better to repent when you are still alive than to find out after the fact how fvcking stupid and dangerous you really are, but hey, you do you, and best of luck to you if luck is your thing... but back to thirds... i appreciate folks with a bit of back-bone that give a sh1t about other humans and god even when they make mistakes, but i fvcking hate me a repeat offender, habitual liars, false teachers, and distorters of truth, those are the sorts of folks that parents need to protect their children from every bit as much as we need to protect our children from other predators that wish to cause physical harm, liberal policy-makers and educators really seem to hate when parents that give two shits push back on some of their philosophies and delusional theories, i'm glad to see that some parents are becoming a bit more sober to the fact that not all educators and school-boards/members are equal and capable of teaching truth... predators will become more emboldened and deceive and poison more people if they are simply allowed to run wild with dangerous perceptions and actions and words... here's a hint for the reader, if you were born with a penis you are a male, if you were born with a vagina you are female, you may not have to act that way or dress that way if you don't want to but facts are facts and reality is reality no matter how badly you want to be something other than what you are, any school-board member or educator or politician that tries to deceive you into thinking anything else is not fit to take care of themselves never mind being responsible for anyone else or anyone else's kids, they are delusional fools with depraved minds who might actually lift their legs to urinate on the tree... but some puddin-heads think that's it's only right for a boy that thinks they want to be a girl to compete against girls, isn't that just the most moronic fvcking thing that you've ever heard, well according to some devolvers it isn't, according to some sociopath manipulators of the truth you can be anything that you want to be, fairy-tale biology, anyways, if you are trans i still respect you as a fellow human but don't be offended if i don't agree with you, i just happen to be on the side of 99-percent of humanity, but you go on and listen to any philosophy that you want to, but i wouldn't go lobbing-off or trying to grow the reproductive organs of your preference if i were you, i would just keep what god and genetics gave you in the first place if i were you... but back to theory of thirds and elitists... when folks are rewarded for their artistic abilities and performances with money and fanatical followers and the benefits of fame and fortune then many of them begin to think that they are somehow extra-special and the ego becomes compromised and inflated and they begin to think that their opinions and perceptions are also extra-special and superior, the delusion sets-in, and then many of those folks use their platform/brand/fame/platforms to spew any fvcking illogical nonesense that increases their own endorphins, it doesn't mean that they are right about two-thirds of the crap that spews from their lips, it just means that they have a platform to appease their inflated ego and the nonsense that tickled their ears... an unfortunate amount of voters rely on entertainers to educate/influence their valuable vote and opinion... if someone like neil young was financially rewarded for doing his job of making noise then that's fine, good on him, but when knuckleheads use their platform to try to silence folks that think differently then they made need to be introduced to the theory of thirds, that not all of their opinions are worthy to share and might be just plain fvcking wrong, i appreciate neil young for standing up for his convictions, but i think the elite fool is considering that maybe he isn't as fvcking smart as he assumed that he was, he is just a regular person that ended up with an irregular job, he is a professional noise maker and learned how to put nice noises together to make some nice sounds, isn't he fvcking special, nope, not really, he is equal not greater than equal, but his ego is ego and his perceptions are his perceptions and his actions are his actions, but again, i respect a guy for having some convictions and the backbone to do something with them, even if a minimum of one-third of his perceptions are accurate... anyways, i don't feel a need to pick on the guy, enough smart-asses are doing a good job of that already, but that's what happens when you choose to be in the public, but his example is just low-hanging fruit, which is why i used his spotify hissy-fit/whine-fest this week, good for him for having a spine, too bad for him that he doesn't know what he doesn't know, but when you are an entertainer any publicity is good publicity and some of his noise/music will probably go up in the charts based on his recent actions/behaviors, good for him, may he appropriate his financial gain wisely... anyhow, when you listen to noisy people tell you how right they are and how wrong others are, well, just remember the theory of thirds, they might be spewing the third of their perception/opinion that is based on impaired biology or stupid fvcking influencers... so what about the other third you might ask, well, i haven't contemplated it a whole lot, i like to think that your strong third overlaps with my strong third and that's how we are able to get along and function as appreciative humans, so maybe the last third is all mystery to us both, there is an awful lot that neither of us have been exposed to, or have properly learned about, depending on intellectual strengths or weaknesses we may understand/discern things faster or slower than others, and some things are far too complex and multi-faceted for challenged/impaired to ever comprehend... so i dunno... maybe that last third is either reality that overlaps with what we both know and understand, or maybe it's something that neither of us understand very well at all... or maybe i just flat out tell you that the theory of thirds is quite flawed because i'm just trying to make a point and calling it a theory, it's not a solid theory at all, but this mush i know, i know that driver-A is going to tell you that driver-B blew the stop sign, and driver-B is going to tell you that driver-A never looked before they crossed the intersection, and while they are telling each side of the story the sniper on the roof providing over-watch that witnessed the whole thing is going to tell you that neither one of the knuckleheads were paying attention when the guy in the truck that empties dumpsters made a loud distracting noise that made everyone take their eyes off the road looking for the source of the banging, and that sniper might be the only person that was observant because it's their job when they are on over-watch... anyways, i think i've given you enough to consider, i think i was right enough to get you to contemplate the fact that none of us are right all of the time, in fact some of us are too distracted to be very observant at all... don't go listening and watching entertainment all day and try to school me on something that i've spent years learning, and i'll try to return the favor, i'm not all that smart, i'm just old and a bit more observant than a distracted young-un sometimes, many times... my advice to the reader, never take my words for it, i might be dummer than a sack of dung, but i trust that you have enough brain power to think on your own and to be weary of who you allow to influence you... my advice to the entertainer, surround yourself with folks that will help keep your ego in check, don't surround yourself with bobble-head yes-men that flatter you for a living, that's a slippery slope that leads to delusion and many other deviancies. -- ct
(the post above was written rather quickly, after a bit more research and contemplation i will update)

01-03-22: good morning... i just updated a few headings, and little things here and there on this simple little website/blog... one of those things is to be crystal clear upfront to the reader that i have conservative leaning perspectives about many things in life... i grew-up in an environment where that was not an appreciated gift/view, so i don't advertise anywhere except for me blasting away on linked-in for a bit, and then a few teaser posts on facebook from time to time, and most of those connections are left-bent liberals, and many of them have good points and perspectives and really do not like a conservative waking-up and challenging them with bold harsh audacity, and they have very thin-skin and seem to be even more emotional than me, so if any of my 'friends/connections/followers' from any internet hosted networking platform ends-up here and i hurt your feelings and reasoning, then please don't be afraid to tell me so, and please include exactly why that's the case, as i need to be persuaded--i require it... all of my perspectives are not filtered properly to everything that goes-on in life, but there is an awful lot more truth written below than some might like to consider, much of it is just observations on human behavior and manipulative communication styles that bad actors exhibit and then combine that verbal-salad with actions/behaviors of their political opinions and affiliations and business affiliations, and combine with the sorts of legislation/ambition of their political affiliates happens to be, but persuasive/manipulative communication is what i base most of my political writings about, but you might already know that... truth is always my top concern, so don't be afraid to notify/persuade me when i am clearly wrong... please, i require it. -- ct

09-16-21: we are going through a bit of a family transition, and we will be down one family member living at home by the end of this weekend, trying to fit in more time with a loved one before they depart has been difficult, i'm sure that their new employer has their reasons for doing things, but the employer is making things difficult for the rest of the family whether they know that or not... life is going to change as we know it, in some respects it should be easier for wife and i, and harder for the family member, but in many respects things won't get easier for wife and i, we will be dealing with new kinds of stresses but with one less person in the house... other stresses are financial in nature, nothing new there, we have had struggles with finances off and on since we married, but it's a newer different kind of issue loosing government-provided income geared to covid relief for folks whose employment was interrupted or changed due to shut-downs/forced-quarantine, that was a couple thousand bucks a month which helped a lot but still wasn't enough income to make ends meet for the geography that we live and the lifestyle full of a strange mix of priorities, but now that we didn't get the four hundred bucks this week we are already feeling the pinch so to speak, having two working parents is good for income but unrealistic for a family with school-aged kids, i don't know how some people do that... a part-time job that i can do from home would be spectacular, but available hours are screwy due to realistic family needs/requirements, so employment search is on, but with so many things going on around the house it seems impossible... we must relocate, the sooner the better, two years from now would be best for a couple of family member's educational expectations, but tomorrow would be better as far as i'm concerned, what to do with our future is a million-dollar question, but without the million dollars, but this geography is not working in our favor, it's actually stifling many things... i have to keep working on getting our house in order and thinning out our possessions to make any sort of move easier, i'm not sure how feasible that is while i'm supposed to be earning income, earning income seems like a necessity, but not something that i'm really interested in anymore, i have too many things that i know i hate about having an employer with their many requirements, but never had a job that i just loved doing, none of my previous jobs had anything to do with producing things to drink, or eat, or sleep--you know, basic human requirements--instead i have gotten involved with technology for too many years, and technology is just supposed to help make certain things in life easier, it's not to be a primary focus... the last six years or so have focused on real life things where one works with hands and mind, not mind alone, so in some respects i have been preparing for real life and not fantasy-land where life revolves around the computer in front of my face and how to earn money via the computer... a life focused around technology doesn't make people move anymore, it draws your attention to screens and the troubles on the other side of the screen instead of real things going on around you... i need some sort of mission to research/analyze if i am to be wedded to a screen, 9-5 office work full of phone calls and emails does nothing for me anymore, and i understand that reality too much to continue pursuing such things, if i were smart about finances i would be retired already so i could pursue real priorities, but current employment models take parents/families away from priorities and requires us to make new families to help support... the homesteading lifestyle makes the most sense for families with children, but few people pursue the education required to homestead, there seems to be too many other interesting things that take our focus off of food, water, sleep/environment, there seems to be far too many distracting things that pull our attention away from realistic priorities, like god and family and the people in our community, and actual human physical requirements like food water and sleep... too bad i didn't understand that when i left home at eighteen, my journey had more to do with leaving mom's place and lifestyle and less on real human physical requirements and understanding real priorities... writing this isn't just an exercise of language and mind, it's also to inform my kids and anyone else that cares to read about real priorities and requirements, we were created to move, not sit behind computers, and the homesteading lifestyle seems to be the most realistic lifestyle that requires movement to use our environment to supply us with foods, hydrating liquids, and a shelter for a safe sleeping environment... how did i end up living on main street renting someone else's shelter while working in technology dependent fields, it's such a compromise that i can hardly bare it at times... getting my house in order requires me to address the many compromises that i've made which lead me to an unrealistic and unhealthy lifestyle, similar to how how god calls us to change unhealthy thoughts and words and actions and behaviors to live a life that follows the example of christ jesus, we are required to change when we understand that we need to change... living on main street renting a very old home on a tiny plot of unproductive land is an unhealthy compromise in many respects, financial requirements to live this lifestyle in this geography is absurd in so many respects... but i will continue to get my house in order in the spiritual and physical senses of the verse, and strive toward a more realistic and healthy lifestyle in another geography, maybe i can get caught up financially and actually save money to buy a bit of productive land... time will tell, maybe i finish the first book and try to sell some for the income to buy land, time will tell... i have a far better sense of priorities than i've ever had, but income and how to properly use it to change this unrealistic/unhealthy lifestyle is the question of the day, help me to understand such things/steps god, you have my attention when i'm not busy being busy with this sort of lifestyle filled with non-priority interesting distractions. -- ct

09-09-21: this actor is spot on, it might actually be illegal for me to quote this much from a published news article that someone else already wrote, but this guy is spot on and it's important so please read his observation, especially if it hit's home regarding ptsd:

"I haven’t experienced any health issues, and I get myself checked out, but definitely…. Post traumatic stress? Absolutely," Buscemi said during the podcast.

"I was only there for like five days, but when I stopped going and tried to just live my life again, it was really, really hard," he added. "I was depressed, I was anxious, I couldn’t make a simple decision. All those things. It’s still with me. There are times when I talk about 9/11 and I’m right back there. I start to get choked up and I realize, ‘Ah, this is still a big part of me.’"

... the actor's name is Steve Buscemi and you would probably recognize him by face even if you don't know his name (that's me anyhow), there are certain things, events, circumstances, things that happen to people that is far too difficult to understand and process, but it shakes us to the core to where it's hard to do simple things that people take for granted, but nasty events that rock our world and our brain's can only handle so much at one time that it breaks us to a point, it wakes us up to harsh realities that maybe we weren't fully able to process and navigate, it's ten times more difficult to come out of nasty events and circumstances like that if we isolate ourselves and keep our thoughts more to ourselves and assume that 'time will heal all things', perhaps it will but when we are stuck in unhealthy mindsets that cause unhealthy thoughts and behaviors/actions then it's imperative to seek help from reliable sources, self-medication with drugs and alcohol will only let you recover and mature and get on with a new appreciation for life... the events that lead up to a straight-up ptsd type of situation are real things that happen to real people and those life-changing things will help folks make large growth spurts of intellect and a greater sense of reality than if we never experienced those sorts of things to begin with, but being honest and transparent about the events and knowing exactly what we experienced, but it's easy for folks that go through nasty and difficult situations to get a good handle on the events and how they effected us, it's one thing if a bully steals your lunch money, and
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