03-20-24: i may not have interpreted yesterday's dream correctly, but it was still awesome -- and weird... i don't remember my dreams much, under the influence of Ambien Rx i don't remember ANY dreams... so the little dreams that i do have when the ambien wears-off, or during naps, or when i actually sleep without any ambien are pretty cool... sometimes... but other sometimes they are more disturbing... dreams are weird... melatonin and DMT combine to do whatever it is they do for us... humans are awesome creations... and little-tiny glands that look like acorns are gifts we often take for granted...
... so here's my facey-book post (but i made a few changes/updates below), and then you can go back and read the post below from yesterday, and mush them together... and then the bible story about the one gifted guy who gave his portion to his understudy when he 'was called up to heaven'... and i think that's maybe why i interpreted yesterday's nap-dream (not to be confused with a pipe-dream) the way that i did, some folks are really into dreams and meanings, i almost never have dreams, so it's never feeled relevant, until i have one that wakes me, or weirds me out somehow:
Yesterday was weird and awesome, an old wise man and friend who I hadn’t seen in years was ready to pass / graduate / meet our Maker… but I wouldn’t find out until the next day. I did a few things like clean floors for Jesus earlier in the day, made some food for Jesus right after that, and then had some decent fellowship / authentic-conversation / chit-chatt’n with some like-minded brothers, the icing on the cake … the Universe paid me back ten-fold while 'serving' with the ensuing fellowship, and then some unexpected treats to boot… And then today I hear of the passing of an old friend, a decent guy that learned to use his gifts, talents, resources, and time to try to bless others, and teach them to find their own gifts, talents, resources, and time to then reciprocate, and repeat a loving and sustainable future… not to just bless our generation, but to make sure that future generations appreciate reality as it was meant to be, that's what 'sustainability' is all about… I like to think that I learned from the white-haired old-timer that made positive-impacts on the sized environment that he was capable of blessing… in some respects I’d like to think Ron ‘self-actualized’ (as defined by Maslow), but in my heart I’d just like to say that he graduated, and is embracing a whole new reality that I can’t really fathom… Rest easy Brother… thanks for teaching me a few things, whether you knew it or not, and sorry for not learning some of the stuff that you were probably trying to teach me.
... and then here's the blog-post from yesterday:
... another busier than usual day today, stacked on top of another shitty night's sleep... so i slipped me a nap in between life, had a cool yet weird dream that's kind of hard to explain right now, but it was something like me approaching something, and it took my head by it's hands, pulled me in close enough to touch foreheads, and it was like it imparted something awesome that i can't really explain... and after i woke up and tried to get my self awake and alert to carry on about my chores, it seemed like i kind of likened it to an old-timer that i appreciate that just passed away was gifting a little piece of himself to me, it was like i got to inherit something special from him... i know, all sounds kind of weird... but it was a cool dream, that seemed crazy-real, and it was moving... and then later i sort of tried to make some sense of it... and i don't know if i did, but it felt like Ron blessed me with a little bit of his spirit... anyhow... great day, awesome nap... had some fellowship with an older brother that's in a place that's giving him some extra care that he seems to require... nice organic conversation... awesome... then i came home, grilled a shit-ton of various sausages for dinner, shared a bunch of them and some of the rice with a neighbor, and then we just finished about 2.5hrs of unexpected organic conversation... pretty awesome day... an old buddy graduated, and transitioned to whatever it is that awaits us... well done Ron, good for you brother....
[UPDATE]
Begin forwarded message:
From: Ron Mills
just making sure you remember them - obviously should have forwarded them to you a little bit earlier - 8 pictures here:
http://www.jolxh.abraief.com/
“Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will
not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius
will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the
world is full of educated derelicts. The slogan 'Press On' has solved
and always will solve the problems of the human race.“ — Calvin Coolidge
[end forwarded email... i'm just pasting this in after i wrote the rest, I thought it was inspiring enough to share]
... so when you moosh those things together... i end up scratching my head a bit, and just receiving it as some type of blessing that the Universe offered, and i think i received it, just don't really know what it's all about yet -- dreams are just weird, and spiritual stuff is probably equally as weird... i don't have some great insight of any of anything, but i don't feel that i need to... i like some mystery, it gives me some warmth, and sense that i'd go mad with too much knowledge... so, i feel some comfort knowing that i'll know what i need to know when i need to know it... sometimes I HAVE to know more about weird stuff like dreams and spiritual interpretations, and i take a deep-dive in learning more... but not now... nooope... i've got a few more papers that i'm motivated to write... one is just some observations about churches, the way we do what we do, motivators, priorities that we are passionate about, and some that probably need more attention... i've been predominantly 'unchurched' for close to a decade, so i don't have room to really talk, but -- you know --everyone's got an opinion, and sometimes i'm way too opinionated... n'ah hah hah.. my buddy Craig has accused me of that reality on more then one occasion... whaddup Little Buddy ;-)
... and the other one is a better lesson regarding some of the realities of the coordinated biological, psychological, and financial attack that I touched on in the H:3 essay... some new churchy folks are going to want to understand more of that reality when they glance over it while helping my with edits, and making sure that I didn't get anything Christianity-wise incorrect, or if I left out too much... I consider myself accountable to church leadership, and love everyone's input, and consideration for some of the essays that i write... i'm a complete novice-writer that only started doing so because I was having some friction and difficulties in life leading up to the bio-phase of the attack was initiated, but I was one of the casualties of the chaos/destruction/confusion attacks, and the ensuing financial-attacks and psychological-attacks which were successfully deployed via ubiquitous media-devices attached to the internet... i was one of those causalities... and then i also caught the fvcking germ at an inconvenient-time, and had a mild-flu for a week or so, not bad for an unconditioned who sat on his ass during the ww3-attacks... anyhow... i feel that some nice folks will probably want to vet me out regarding this matter, and for me to consider taking a risk-assessment exam or sumthin... and since most folks understand that the Trump-years and then the ensuing Mandates-years were pretty fvcking weird, and began to see that some so-called 'conspiricies' were actually being proven correct, i feel like it's my duty to articulate an over-view of the various attacks as I understand them... it's all just conspiracy-theory on my part... i have lot's of opinions, and theories... the beautiful thing about 'theories' is that they assumed to be fact, until they can verifiably be proven to be incorrect... so -- like I say -- if anyone can prove any of my theories to be incorrect, I'll write an addendum... that's how theories sort of work :-)
03-20-24 later: there was another paper too, crap, glad i didn't forget... one about church energy/priorities/future-plans and stuff... one about geo-political warfare... and then something about 'relational-fellowship blessings' and symbiotic-growth, probably like serving with time/presence; i'm learning a bit about that lately... as i've been getting somewhat healthier, and i'm disabled to the point where I have some time on my hands, i've been learning about inter-personal relationships, and how every meeting should be mutually beneficial... it's probably going to be something like that... OK, so note self... those are the next three, but i want to get working on the companion-guide, or just 'questions for consideration' to accompany that H:3 theseis-thingy that i keep mentioning... you shouldn't really need any questions if you are open and honest with yourself, but folks can easily weird-out emotionally when they grasp some important aspects of traumas or dysfunctions... if you consider the INTJ-thing, and the fact that i have no formal-training on assisting folks in dealing with emotions, I don't want to assume too much, so it seems like using the H:3 theory as a group-study foundation is still the best approach to using it to try to help unhealthy folks get healthy, to self-actualize, so we can get the next generation for God's revival... so that's why i think the theory is good to help folks be better prepared to get folks as healthy as possible for the next wave of attacks... there were far too many casualties of the last eight-years... too many victims that overwhelmed and confused healers had to clean-up the pieces from... people need to be healthy, another wave is coming, and America's aggressors are emboldened, and have access to many resources... God is offering revival, but we've grown distracted and lethargic, are barely healthy and/or over-occupied ourselves to be able to handle the sick that will require healing... i don't care if any of the H:3 thing is even used, but the fundamentals are solid enough to use whatever tools necessary to get sick people healthy enough to fight for themselves, the time to run from reality is gone, and everyone must assume more responsibility, to adequately prepare others... God is knocking at the doors of your church, but you aren't prepared for the crowds... everyone is going to increase and get healthy, or they are probably going on a different journey/speed/pace... but leadership is not adequately prepared for what's coming... God has heard the cries of righteous people, and his team has been dispatched, you could call it 'revival' if you want to, that's sort of the way that I understand the term... but the enemy has all the momentum, and there will be a greater than equal opposite force of God's power... we are not prepared for it... now is the time to exercise, get as healthy as possible, cling to reality, and help others do the same thing at the same time... or... we could continue to do the same thing over and over again expecting to lose ground to the enemy... I think us Christian-types call it satan, or the devil, or some other words that i don't really care to familiar myself with at the moment.
So, i kind of feel like that's what God's been ministering to me personally... and if any of this applies to you, then sweet, glad i could help... i don't really know how to use my new-found writing hobby... but, if i were self-actualize, i would probably be doing something to offer other people some useful information about things that i've learned over time, and then try to maybe give some useful advice, and then try to utilize some predictive-modeling types of logical opinions whenever that seems applicable... I think that's what Maslow was sort of saying/implying, something like that... maybe that H:3 paper is what happens when an INTJ begins to self-actualize, and really tries to be sensitive to as much of my H:3 as possible, all depending on what expands, or contracts according to a human-sized subject of a conspansive-manifold model... sumthin like that... enough geeking-out... i'm gonna grab me a coffee, so how-bout pray that i get the coffee to sugar to cream ratio juuust-right... peace -- ct [update, the coffee was great, and now i have to wrestle with some frickin dishes].