...if folks are curious enough about this website or about me as a person they might end up poking around and ending up here, reading some blog entries/posts, blog posts are where i write about most of the real things that are important to me, and about other things to, sometimes things that bother me for some reason, and i also write about other silly ego revealing things that nobody needs to waste their time reading... but mostly its where i write about things that i think are important somehow, i'm not a professional anything, so there will be ignorance written below, but i trust that the reader can discern the baby from the bathwater, i do hope to stimulate your noggin enough to do some of your own research using your own critical-reasoning... i write for my own health, and to my offspring/kids, and to anyone else that cares to read. --  ct

12-31-22:  backing-up and doing some chores with this crummy website today, i'm quite embarrassed about a mistake that i found, i had a page that i misspelled and placed under the wrong folder, it was supposed to say 'collage', and it was supposed to be under the political section, instead i named it 'college', and put it under the 'religious' section, it clearly DID NOT belong under that section, you can judge for yourself... but hey, i never claimed to be a professional anything, and i earn next to nothing from this endeavor, so you go what you paid for ;-) ... pretty embarrassing really, but considering that i do most of my writing when i ought to be sleeping, well, bad things can happen... letting loose on the substack tonight, it's not like i want to give 2022 the middle finger, because i know a lot of folks that experienced some tremendous personal growth this past year, but just want to remind folks of the dunces that we trusted, who proved themselves to be wolves in sheep's clothing... never forget who played you/us, to ignore history is a guarantee for repetition... we MUST learn from our mistakes, thus we stall in insanity.  --  ct

12-30-22:  just added three more projects for the 'to do' list, and one is costing me money... call me the village idiot... but they are fun projects, and one will yield something very special for my son, and the others will literally brighten a family's entrances (or exits, depending on your perspective)... dinner at Olive Garden was nice tonight, everyone left there full and we still brought home some 'doggie bags', eating out is frickin expensive, our government's reactions to the covid is partly to blame... OT went well today, my wrist isn't killing tonight, even after the light fixture change, my hip is a different story though, i've got some MRIs slated for the near future, it's about time to see what's really going on in my hot-spots, a couple of joints that were dislocated in my early twenties are coming back to haunt me now, the stupid-ass army should have given me some PT back in the day, instead it was the old 'light duty and take motrin for a couple of weeks', basically 'rub dirt on it and drive on' sort of thing... nothing else that i want to complain about at the moment, i have much more to be thankful for than complain about really... i suppose i should be going through the bedtime routines now, didn't realize it was this late already... tomorrow is the last day of the calendar year, it should be nice and boring around here, at least i hope so... tip for the reader, keep an eye on the next pandemic, china is releasing tons of it's citizens to travel the world once again--even though they are dealing with a huge increase in virus cases, and the WEF ghouls agenda for mid-january includes more pandemic-related topics, they don't even try to hide their plans anymore, they may be a bit vague with them, but they are emboldened because they have been getting away with their retarded and demented plans for too long--so that's my tip--be prepared for another big outbreak, possibly with a higher mortality rate... i wouldn't shed one tear if an ICBM landed in the middle of davos during their cult gathering, nope--not one. -- ct

12-25-22:  merry Christmas to the reader... it's still the wee-hours, and the only folks that should be awake live in the eastern hemisphere--plus 'st. nic'... tried to sleep without the Rx and i got about an hour and a half between twelve-something to two-something, par for the course... we aren't traveling today, so i can take a quickie nap at my leisure... oldest daughter woke up coughing awfully had an hour or two ago, with the aid of an inhaler and a steaming pot of water with some menthol and eucalyptis and prayer she seems to be quiet again, i'm feeling for her... so in some respects i'm glad that i was awake to help her... at one point around two-thirty i saw a very bright light shining through the window, it was a big bucket-truck with their spotlight on, they weren't parked out there very long, but i want to offer a HUGE 'thank you' to the linemen that have been working around the clock to restore power to the folks in town that lost it on friday, our power wasn't effected save for a few brown-outs, and i couldn't be anymore thankful... there are tons of christmas tree road-kill along the sides of the roads around here, seems like the pines were the biggest casualties this storm, a few big and rotten hardwoods snapped as well, but the evergreens got it the worse... looking forward to some good eating today, i thought we were going to be stuck with soup, but the out-of-state checks/gifts that we received from loved-ones cleared yesterday to our surprise (should have been monday), so we were able to get out shopping before we visited family in MA, and it'll be chicken and fish today, prefaced with a hearty breakfast, we are blessed... i shouldn't be looking at a blue-screen if i really want to dose back asleep before the traditional sharing of presents this morning, so i'm signing off... but before i do so, please make the effort and take the time to consider the God of ALL creation today and in the new year, may the wonder and awe of the almighty never cease in your heart/mind/soul, it's too easy to take God for granted in this busy and uneasy world that we are surrounded by, may God's peace permeate your soul, and may you find joy and contentment and wonder in your understanding and meditation of God's reality... Christmas blessings to you. -- ct

12-23-22:  it's a bit soggy in rockingham county, thankful it's rain and not snow... there's been a few brown-outs so far, got the candles and oil lamps on stand-by, even had the camping stove and lantern in from the shed--wasn't sure if i could get supper cooked, as we have an electric stove... lot's of downed limbs and trees, the windows are shaking with the gusts with a few gusts sounding like trains... looking forward to seeing part of mom's family tomorrow night, there has been some new additions that i haven't seen/met yet... thinking of lots of folks from my past, and the struggles that i know they are facing, praying for folks that i haven't seen in decades... received a nice text from a guy that i used to work with, i'm pretty sure that he is a practicing Muslim, but it doesn't stop him from wishing me a happy Christmas very year, God/Allah bless you Kareem, you are about as respectful and considerate a man as i have ever met, it was a pleasure to work with you eight plus years ago, we may have been brought-up in different religious traditions, but it's hard not to tell that we are both children of the same God--brothers, if you will--i met some great folks working that job, i think of many of them on a regular basis... thinking and praying for lots of folks lately, it's a gift having the time to reflect, to realize what i learned from them, the friendships, the common interests, the ups and downs, the counseling, etc... i had one 'regular' job since then, but after that i was so disgusted with most employers that i worked for that i began sub-contracting, even that was disappointing many times... i don't know that i'll ever have a 'regular' job again, i'm pretty much what the VA considers 'unemployable', i'm OK with that distinction, if i can sub-contract to help a decent person/organization with a worthy cause/project for a season i'm good with that, otherwise i'm mostly disgusted with humanity these days, i'm not sorry to say that/admit it, i'd rather be a hermit in peace than a socialite in an unloving/uncaring environment full of people focused on self-serving and wealth collecting endeavors, there is sooo much more to life than money, i wish more folks understood that, money helps with certain aspects of life--sometimes you need materials, but many a man/woman have sold their souls in order to collect their fortune--got news for you, can't take it with you to the grave--better to love... it's been great being around all of the kids this week, the dynamic is awesome, puts a smile on ma-ma's face too, forgot how much extra food we should have stocked... anyways... hope the reader is appreciating what you have, and the fellowship that the holidays offer, enjoy... God bless. -- ct

12-22-22:  i think i'm 'failing' both OT and PT, both therapists recommended Ortho and MRIs today... i appreciate your efforts ladies, it's not you, it's me... gimpy joints are paying the price for genetics, damage, poor mechanics and use... user error maybe? despite the pain and limitations my spirits are good, appreciating family and what we have, not what i can't do, and what we don't have... pain keeps you humble in many respects, it lets you know that it's time for a rest or re-direction... healing would be nice, but i REALLY don't want to get cut/surgery, not afraid of it, but it's not natural, and i'm stubborn enough that i may not allow for adequate recoup-ration, so maybe i'm afraid of my stubbornness, and not giving enough time to recover, re-damaging the work of the surgeons... i dunno... all i know is that i don't want to get cut, and certainly don't want fake ball and socket joints.

... we are in store for lots of rain, and some powerful winds overnight into tomorrow... we might get a bit of snow to start out with, but they are predicting temps over fifty tomorrow, so the snow ought to be gone in hurry, replaced by massive puddles and possible flooding... folks in the upper and mid-west are seeing a bad one, already freezing, and plenty of snow... the folks that travel south for the winter have the right idea, although TX is looking at zero-degree temps too, remember their 'renewable energy' generators failing a couple of years ago, and kept folks that mostly have electric heat in the cold for weeks... green energy is a nice supplement, but never count on it, unless you're the exceedingly hearty type... already broke until the thirtieth, sucky situation, but getting used to being broke, we are still 'comfortable' to a degree, but it get's sketchy when the account is about empty with over a week til the next payday... all the more reason to become as self-sufficient as possible, not rely on just money alone, faith and love for Jehovah-Jira certainly helps, but God still requires action on our part... still trying to find my place in this world, actualizing potential and utilizing gifts/skills to do so is the order of the day, maybe even a life-long endeavor/journey. -- ct

12-20-22:  how much does experience effect reasoning?  when you're older/wiser experience is king, as a child you count on parents/mentors to help make up for the lack of experience... not much to really write about this topic, this post is more or less a note for me to explore the topic in more detail for future post... triggered by reading publications from some exceedingly intelligent folks, they seem to figure some things out by reading and reasoning, separated from experience, i don't possess the IQ level as some of those folks, i require experience along with reasoning, reading helps, and mentoring helps as well... how did you acquire your education, reading, mentoring/teaching/explaining, experience?  i think experience correlates with wisdom, and the reading/teaching correlates with knowledge... anyways, it's a topic for another day.  --  ct

12-19-22: it's getting late, about ready to bed down for the night, just thinking about today... had a couple of really good conversations with some folks that live pretty far away, first was an old Army buddy that i hadn't spoken to in years (George), and the second was a guy from a group that i appreciate and follow (Eric), both decent guys that i have some healthy appreciation and respect for, they both dig God, and appreciate Jesus' words/teachings/priorities... you know you are talking to a like-minded person when they know that the family and i are moving next year, and they appreciate you enough to suggest looking into their town's of residency, mutual appreciation/respect... not sure where we will end up, but where ever it is i hope that we will have good folks nearby like those two guys, if we end up in MO--like we think we will--i'll be close enough to both of those guys to get together without a full day or two's worth of travel like it would take right now... George and i picked-up like we were still roommates in the CO barracks, too cool, even better to know that he follows Christ now, sometimes forgiveness isn't easily accepted, but even a stubborn heart/mind can recognize the world's biggest blessing when we see it... Eric is a calm decent soul of a man, praying that he meets a great woman who fits perfectly into his life and theology, it will happen... George has me wanting to read the book of James again (Roman Centurion), and Eric got me reading through both letters to the Corinthians--i love when that happens... i quit being a social-centric person a couple of years ago, but i appreciate talking to some like-minded folks that are genuine/authentic and aren't boasting of low-priority insignificant B.S... anyways, it was a decent day, i enjoy the time with my kids, had some good gun-talk with my son, probably build him an AR-10/M-5 when money permits, can't wait to go shooting with him while he's on leave, break-in his M-4, the buffer spring is a bit stiff... wife and oldest daughter seem to be feeling better from the physical annoyances they were struggling with yesterday, and the youngest daughter is getting ready for her very last Christmas vacation from school, she's a great kid to spend time with as well... thankful for friends and family, still praying for my Dad and Ann, they have been going through the wringer this past month or so... also praying for a couple that i've never met in person, but Chris and Gina had some physical crap that they were dealing with too, i might check-in on them this week to see of they were healed yet... i don't pray as a time-killing exercise, i expect results, just don't know exactly how or when the healing will come about, that part is God's job, i'm just the messenger/requester, God makes it happen... if you are the praying type, please consider praying for the folks mentioned above, and maybe my wrist/shoulder/hip/knee/eye-sight/lungs/sinuses, even one of those things getting better would be greatly appreciated... one more thing, a lady that meant the world to me back in high school lost her husband last December, her heart is still in pieces, but she's really struggling with 'the firsts', the first birthday without him, first Thanksgiving... there are lot's of firsts when your spouse passes, she's got he two beautiful children to help to support one another, Laura is the easiest person to get along with with a sweet personality, which tells me that she has the sort of inner-being that will finish a healthy round of grieving on her road to a recover, and whatever life throws at her next... her personality might change just a bit, but she will be thriving before we know it, may it be so... good night and GOD BLESS. -- ct

12-15-22: it's the calm before the storm in rockingham county, local forecast is that we are at the edge of the rain/snow line, warmer winds coming in from the northeast should keep us more wet than frozen... most folks around here like the snow, i quit liking it decades ago, i love watching dogs play in it though... trying to fast from most media, just checking in on the weather, i won't have peace in my heart over the holidays if i consume as much news and reports as typical... looking at areas of my life where i exhibit fight flight and freeze responses to stressors circumstances and stimuli, certain moments i do one, but in larger different and multi-faceted scopes i do the others, i might write about that soon--seems like the lack of motivation to do things that i know need to be done is like an overwhelming 'freeze' response to a mountain or a giant of a chore, and ignoring the 'thing' doesn't seem to help very much... i guess certain dysfunctions still exist even at fifty-something, avoiding a mountain that must be crossed or removed because i don't know where to begin, or a problem that i put down because i don't know how to resolve it, it's a similar freeze reaction to certain challenges obstacles or hurdles--at least that's what it seems like--i need to think more on this... i don't 'like' to fight, but i do when i think it's warranted, and i'm not very fast anymore, so flight is almost inconceivable... anyways, got to go do some things that need to get done, but they are 'easy' things. -- ct

12-14-22:  still keeping away from substack for a bit, there's nothing that i have to write that hasn't already been articulated far better than i'm capable of--just going to work on some creative projects for now... december hasn't been pleasant so far, it ought to be, but just stressing over a few things, pain sucks--and so does feeling your age, old injuries are really catching up to me now, i've got to get more healthy, i can't settle for just 'breaking'

12-13-22:  City of Terlizzi (BA): Apulia Region (Puglia) - Italy...  wonder if my ancestors were really named 'Terlizzi', or if that's just where they were from, maybe they put the wrong info in the wrong box when they were checking into the USA--or something like that, or maybe they obscured their real lastname because they wanted anonymity... or, maybe it was a way to sort of connect to other Italians that would know the region/name... looking at the map, it seems like they have plenty of places to eat, a nice gym--who knew?... anyways... so my literal name is something like 'follower of Christ from a small village in Italy'?... something like that?... although some of my ancestors were from Ireland and the UK, mom's side, it's just not reflected in my 'name'... OK, pardon me, i'm going to work on a story for a bit, time to get creative in communication, you know 'story-telling'  --  ct

12-13-22 later: so i do this incredibly stupid thing, well, i do a bunch of them, actually... when i'm not focused very well i do this thing where i write on various platforms and places and folders and files, and so now i'm looking for (wasting time) the latest version of a story that i'm working on, and guess what, i've opened a bunch of files and all that i'm finding are bits and pieces of various parts and versions... i'm just a few blinks away from becoming the newly crowned village idiot (or perhaps i have been unknowingly/already become that guy), it's like an inconsistent organization, i want to say that it's a dose of ADD with some OCD expectations, one's that i either don't afford myself--or, am incapable of--maybe due to some dysfunction/malfunction of my noggin, there is a little bit of dementia in my heritage... boy, that would suck, i REALLY don't need anymore mental handicaps than those which i'm currently juggling... so i need to quit leaving 'bread-crumbs', and just stick with a consistent filing system, that's my take-away from the last ninety minutes.  --  ct

12-13-22 more later:  found it!   seems that i renamed it back in Sept, the last time that i touched the file... i guess renaming it seemed logical at the time, but now i think it was completely fvcking stupid because i spent close to two hours searching for it... hello village, it's me--your new idiot--just wanted to introduce myself, OK, very good then... good grief... OK, back to actual story-telling now.  --  ct

12-09-22:  no political snipes today, too many bums--so little time... nice friday, sunny and cool, i keep wishing that this would be the worse of the winter, but it's just the beginning, got to finish a few more outdoor chores to prep for the winter... kids are doing well with their studies and endeavors, we might all be together for the holidays this year, time will tell... the physical and occupational therapies aren't going very well, i'm optimistic that they will someday, but these are some gimpy joints that we are trying to strengthen, not really sure what's still possible at my age and the damage that's been done... got to get into chore-mode to finish out the day, there are dishes and laundry and spaghetti and meatballs to attend to, God bless.  --  ct

12-06-22:  trying to figure-out where to start de-cluttering and cleaning the house today, not particularly motivated/energetic to jump right in, but it's long overdue... going to start by making some place for the Christmas tree, so maybe i tear into the living-room first... my oldest daughter did a good job in the dining room to make a place to sew a quilt, but much of the clutter just got moved somewhere else that it doesn't really belong, but we got to see what the top of the table actually looks like--for the first time in years, maybe... we want to move next year, but i don't feel good about it until we figure-out how to manage/store what we currently have, and figure-out what else we can donate or get rid of... anyways, plenty to do today, have a bit of a drive in the rainy weather, see what the VA PT-Lady can do about my gimpy wrist and shoulder... received a gift in the mail yesterday, omaha steak package, what a perfect/useful/thoughtful gift, it's better quality meat than we afford ourselves, easy to store, and easy to prepare, it will make for a week's worth of protein for dinners, so it couldn't be anymore practical/useful... BTW, resisting the urge to go full political tirade again, there aren't enough hours in the day to read all that i want to consume, write my opinions, and be a husband/dad/chief-chore-doer, so i'm staying quiet on the political complaints for now... Gold bless.  --  ct

12-05-22:  just reading a bit today about some interesting topics... i'll try to remember to go back and insert some links, but when talking about the subject of chronic conditions (to include stress levels and coping methods) the answers usually involve lifestyle changes, not taking a pill or an elixir for a few weeks, or looking for an impatient and lazy and stubborn way to treat the condition/ailment... that's you're 'western medicine', ignore root-cause... the condition is genetic, environmental, or diet/nutrition related... toxic/overly-stressful environments typically require lifestyle changes, you may be dealing with dietary dysfunction as coping mechanism for the stress, you might have the insomnia as another side-effect that needs attention, but life-style and reasonable expectation management has much to do with chronic stress, environment and reaction to stimuli--whether it be too much too fast or overly complicated or unreasonable, much of that is life-style, many times it's un-neccesarily and routinely subjecting yourself to an unhealthy environment, but the unhealthy environment is so routine that you are conditioned to simply accept it instead of removing yourself from toxic routine/environment... i don't know, i read a bunch today and rushed to make a note of most basic factors to treating chronic conditions, you kind of already know it... genetics, consumption/input, environment, the way we treat our body's and mind's, spiritually and physiologically... all physiological and psychological requirements and considerations come with their own challenges, but education for such basic human needs/requirements goes a looong way, it's assumed but not required knowledge... but the chronic condition should be treated holistically, and sometimes that requires serious lifestyle changes... or you could just keep 'rubbing dirt on it' and continue with unhealthy routines/environment/lifestyle, etc... but you already know this basic stuff, this is just a reminder really; you're smart enough to know what you should and shouldn't eat, and what appropriate serving sizes should be, and what liquids are beneficial, and how to tell if you are dehydrated or not, and if you are sleeping close to eight decent hours or not and why that's important for health, and if the air-quality/temperature/humidity levels that you are regularly subjected-to are healthy or not, and then if you are subjected to manageable amount of stress on a regular basis... situational-awareness keeps a person alive in the predator-filled wild, situational awareness of environment--and you're body's reaction to it--could lead to a much holistically/healthier life/life-style... ahhh, you already know that, by the way, don't under-estimate the value of staying connected to our creator, your daily commune with God has much value in dealing with chronic conditions... look this stuff up for yourself if it sounds interesting or weird, gotta run.   --  ct

12-03-22:  rainy day in rockingham county, pretty mild... did a little bit of barter-work down the street for a bit, assembled a cabinet, love that the only tools necessary were a cross-tip screwdriver and a flashlight, wrist is killing though... getting a chuckle out of progressive melt-downs over elon's twitter-gate file dump, i have zero stake in the matter, so it's pure entertainment for me, already had an idea what those twitter folks were doing long before the file dump, and now they seem a bit upset that elon pissed in their cheerios, how long did they think they were going to get away with pretending that they aren't DNC agents... too funny.  --  ct

12-02-22:  it's interesting to learn about the various ways that people strike against folks that they have real or perceived problems with, currently someone is sending 'letter bombs' to big-wig folks in europe... there are plenty of ways to protest--or, to try to resolve issues with folks, you could write them, call them, show-up on their door-step and punch them in the nose, and then there are less direct ways... this letter-bomb story is disturbing, maybe the culprit get's caught and will explain in great detail why they did what they did, maybe they send a manifesto to major news outlets explaining their actions and reasoning, maybe they already did in some way or another, maybe they are dead already, maybe they are alive and emboldened to carry-out larger attacks... the Feds eventually caught Ted Kaczynski, someone will probably catch this current mail-bomber across the pond, it will be interesting to see how much the perpetrator will co-operate and communicate with honesty, and what their story is... it would also be interesting to see the blue-prints/engineering used for the devices, that will probably remain top-secret if they are ever known, and you certainly DON'T want that sort of knowledge getting into the hands of many people, but it would still be interesting to know... i'm pretty sure that the first pieces of top secret information that i was allowed to consume by the DoD was basically a few binders full of pictures of IEDs recovered by the FBI, it was interesting to see the levels of sophistication utilized by the engineers, some bombers were Kaczynski-level IQs, and others were clearly not, in fact--some folks blow themselves up before finishing their destructive devices... how ever this situation may unfold let's hope there aren't any other devices in circulation, it's a complete shitty way to deal people that you have real--or perceived-- problems with, the package-bombs put tons of other people in harm, and they almost never reach their actual recipients/targets... i'd encourage the mail-bomber to just go up to the recipient's front door, and punch them in the nose, and tell them why you are so angry with them, mail bombs are for passive-aggressive pussies that probably slap-fight while arched backwards... this bomber would be better off letting their issues known, learn how to articulate and communicate your grievances, a few bombs just cause more confusion than any good, i'm sure you're a smart person and a solid engineer, but right now you're just a terrorist, and it's not a decent title for such a smart person, now quit your slap-fighting and communicate, maybe write a detailed letter, show-up to the jerk's home, and punch them in the nose when you hand them your letter of discontent, otherwise you are a simple terrorist with some ill-used IQ, you have to communicate to be effective.  --  ct

12-01-22:  it was a weird november, extremely low motivation/energy, the flu kicked my ass for a solid week and needed a second week to recover from it, still don't have the fall clean-up done (you should see how many leaves filled the yard this year)... looking forward to getting my ass in gear for december, money will be tight, and there will be plenty of events requiring a lot of driving, i might miss all of them... i don't cater to paranoid people that require several experimental inoculations to be in the same room as others, you hang around paranoid folks long enough and it can rub-off a bit on healthy folks, but big-pharma and their puppets/salesmen are selling their fear-porn like there is no tomorrow, it's SO nauseating... hope to see the boy this season, see if he's outgrown me yet, he might be stronger than me already, i hope so... wondering where we will be living next year at this time, probably MO, but no actual plans yet, but i know it won't be on a busy street in a home with little-to-no insulation, wouldn't mind somewhere a bit more south than 42° 52' 10.31" N latitude... doing a bit of work close by today, rewire a couple of things, and some consulting, it's nice to earn a few dollars when you can... i pretty much stopped writing for a bit, i haven't used insomnia hours in months, i still deal with the ailment, but not using the waking/wee-hours productively as i had been... political activism isn't fun or rewarding (well, occasionally it's both), so i haven't been filling-up the political section with my frustrations as i usually do... was thinking a bunch about my mom yesterday, and during the late hours when i couldn't turn-off the noggin, she really enjoyed the holidays, seeing family members, the special food treats, the presents, etc., while those sound like fun things to most folks it usually ended by me dropping mom back off at home, and then returning to NH/home around midnight with three sleeping kids and my lovely wife equally  exhausted... anyways, mom's perspective of the holidays is quite different now, i don't know what 'afterlife' is really like, but i think she's diggin' it... well, please enjoy this first day of december, and i'll try to do the same.  --  ct