I organize information a bit odd because i am not a pro, but usually i write new blog posts that get represented from newest to oldest, so newest always on top... so what, right... so, because the first three posts for this month make more sense to read from oldest to newest I am doing just that for April, oldest to newest, cool? Cool ...
04-01-21: ... april fools ... whatever ... it's also the day where
Christians honor and remember what many people call The Passion of The
Christ. Christian faith/religion is what i crudely describe as a
continuation of Jewish religion and history and sacred texts and even
some practices and i will say it ... 'traditions'. Christians worldwide
for zillions of years utilize some of the ancient Jewish texts to a
smaller collection of books that we call the "Old Testament', it's not
for me to say much more than that about the books in the Christian bible
that are categorized as the old testament other than they are what we
consider to be our God's communication/message to all of humanity, it's
pretty much what the God of our religious faith wants everyone to know,
we would say that it is foundational to the next set of books that's in
our bible, it's what we call our 'New Testament'. Most Christians that I
know may eventually elude to a statement of some sorts that would say
that the books of the old testament all have many individualistic values
and importance, as well that they all had also spoken too, written
about, prophesied of an individual/leader that would come someday in the
future that would lead God's people back to a legit freedom from the
grief that they had struggled with for many years which was
unfortunately at the fault of the rebellious behavior and actions of
many of their previously leaders, like how the deviant religious leaders
and kings took advantage of their citizens/sub-servants and also told
them not to read or listen to God's message to humanity anymore, just do
what they tell you to do now. So Christians take the information that
we think that our God had inspired different people throughout history
to write, we take the historical context and information written in the
old testament and utilize what we call 'faith' that all of those books
are extra special because the God who had given humanity our very life
had inspired these actual historical people that actually walked the
face of earth to remember and write some things that were valuable
enough to pass that information to future generations... Christians
think that the words in our bible are historically and 'spiritually'
significant enough that when this guy called Jesus had emerged a couple
thousand years ago we sort of started making connections to what the
'Messiah' of the ancient texts might do and we started thinking that
this guy named Jesus has got the be the leader that the old testament
books had told us about, this Jesus guy has got to be a really big deal,
and so began historical documentation of what Christians call the life
and 'ministry' of Jesus The Messiah, or The Christ. Christians that
appreciate the words and verses and chapters and books of the new
testament should eventually force themselves to appreciate the words of
the old testament at some point in their lives, they are fundamental to
the teachings of the new testament like you wouldn't believe. But back
to this man named Jesus, he didn't appear to be a leader in any logical
sense, the only people that he 'led' were people that wanted to follow
him, he didn't lead employees on a money-making endeavor, he didn't
'teach' in a formal way that the religious leaders of his time did, he
wasn't a combative warrior that was trained by an army, it seems that he
was just a carpenter with a humble upbringing... And i'm sure that his
parents had some stories to tell. Anyway the historical person that
actually walked on the face of the earth named Jesus was a leader in
spite of his humble beginnings, even though he wasn't a prodigy from a
royal bloodline he still attracted a crowd of people that wanted to
literally stop what they were doing and listen to him and literally
follow him and not because he wore a beautiful custom suit and spent a
considerable amount of time at a salon preparing to execute a perfectly
written speech that his cronies wrote for him to make him sound special
or important or promote their own causes but he attracted people in
spite of not being attractive or charming, he attracted people by his
compassion and kindness and the way that he treated everyone equally no
matter how important they thought they were or how insignificant they
viewed themselves he taught his followers that everyone is created
imperfect but equal to one another. I wasn't prepared to write much
else about his teachings but his teachings were remarkably simply to
people who listened in my opinion, many of his teachings were based on
people asking him how he interpreted certain parts of the ancient
religious writings but his responses were never academically
challenging, the people that were the closest to him sometimes asked him
to be more specific about some of his teachings to the larger crowds
and his answers to their questions are found in the Christian bible, and
some versions of the Christian bible have Jesus' answers to their
questions in red colored text, I dig the bibles that have Jesus' words
in red. There are lot's of things that I could write about regarding
Jesus and his teachings but maybe I'll just share one or two more quick
things... that guy could ruffle-up the feathers of the elitists of his
time, that guy some had some straight-out haters that thought they had
everything together but they were proven to be hypocrites, Jesus plainly
told them why they were ignorant and devious fools, and there is nothing more than
an elitist that is addicted to power and their own ego hates and that
is to be called out on their perversion... I won't jump to any
conspiracy theories here but it seems that some of the elitists that
Jesus had offended got him killed, they found a way to snuff him out.
Some people who aren't christian kind of know the story of the passion
too, it describes the last four days that Jesus had spent in his
ministry to all humankind. When the offended elitists put enough
pressure on government officials to try to get Jesus to shut up, so Jesus
was questioned and put on trial for religious blasphemy, the charges
brought against him were for declaring that he himself was in fact the
messiah that was promised to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and the second
part was the real 'blasphemy', that part was when Jesus also declared
that he was not only a son of God, but that he was literal offspring (on
his daddy's side) of God, his mamma was human but his daddy was the
literal God of the ancient texts, it appears that there was something
miraculous to nature that happened and Jesus wasn't just a guy after
all, He was something higher than just a man, there was some man to him,
but he was every bit God as he was man, the god part was a paternal
thing you could say. The blasphemy that Jesus was found guilty of was
that he declared himself to be God, so the elitists and religious
hypocrites had what they needed to shut up Jesus... 'this guy thinks
he's God' - well maybe just half God on his Dad's side, but we are what
we are so Jesus did not lie when he was asked about such blasphemy, told
them the truth and didn't back down when his life depended on it, Jesus
didn't back down and cower under pressure because he had nothing to
back down from and he knew that his very life was the last part of the
mission that he came to fulfill, first his teachings, then his final
sacrifice... most Christians will be able to tell you that we believe
that the death penalty that Jesus had succumbed to was every bit as
important as his teachings, the brutality of his tortuous ending was
both horrific but expected and his death which followed the torture was
both expected and necessary for The Messiah's intentions/mission.
Anyways, I wasn't expecting to write any of this today... so that's
about all I have for now, other than 'Thank You Jesus', I appreciate
your efforts and appreciate that God's plan for restoring his
relationship to a rebellious mankind included people that aren't just olive-skinned people in the middle-east but also includes people like
me too, thank you for remembering us light-skinned people in you plans
for restoring humanity. -- ct
04-03-21: ... so maybe today is the saturday after Jesus died, and maybe
i'm one of his closest followers, maybe i'm one of those apostle guys
and the most influential person that i will ever meet had just died a
horrible death, he wasn't just killed he was humiliated and tortured and
then died a painful death in a public exhibition... how shaken to the
bone am i right now. How messed-up is my head after watching this
amazing person die just like that, you know that he pushed people's
buttons sometimes and that elitists will not let that go unpunished, but
'what the F just happened' is what's going on in my imagination. Jesus
was in his prime and seemed to be changing the lives of his followers
in good ways and he was getting people to change their incorrect/deviant
thoughts and actions and then after a pretty cool couple of days he is
just gone, he was just here, and how can that even be that he is gone
now. Maybe if i'm one of his close followers and my natural tendency might be to suit up
in full battle gear and grab my favorite few weapons and want to destroy
everyone involved in the injustice that i just witnessed, maybe if i
were deviant to the point in acting out in rage maybe i wouldn't have
survived long enough to witness the thing that happens tomorrow... it's a
good thing that a knucklehead like me wasn't one of those
apostles, the story would have been so much worse if i were impatient in
my naivety/ignorance because there are always tomorrows but tomorrow's actual tomorrow
might be the most special tomorrow ever known because the rest of Jesus story is
yet to come... maybe to the Christian his death was important but the
events that followed just a few days later were the most amazing, and
maybe if there weren't 'miracles' or other peculiarities surrounding
the things that happened a few days after he died, but maybe the fact
that his message and his story still resonates beyond billions if not trillions of historical and current people
around the globe is the most fascinating thing to this simple guy...
tomorrow's gonna be awesome, some big stone get's rolled outta the way
and then a bunch of other cool things happen too, but not to that Judas
fella, he's gonna see a bad one coming up soon. -- ct
04-04-21: Easter Sunday, I had a rough night sleep so my head is sort of wandering and it's totally a day that will require 2 full big cups of coffee to function, but now is probably the only time that i will have to write today, but i have to write today, i unfortunately feel compelled to do so, it also helps me slow down my wandering over tired thoughts, so here goes. I think maybe it's easier for me to pick up from yesterdays theme and imagine myself as one of Jesus' closest friends/disciples, whatever they were called they were still his closest friends. One of his closest friends betrayed him for self-seeking endeavors, one out of 12-or was it 13- of his closest friends couldn't understand what Jesus was teaching everyone, sometimes i overthink numbers and appreciate crude statistics and then i want to consider certain statistics, but maybe i'm impressed that it was only one out of a dozen... maybe a guy that had a terrible night sleep shouldn't over think things right about now... So maybe i picture myself as being one of those dozen men that were his closest friends, i won't forget that there were many woman who were also very close and instrumental in his upbringing and ministry... but maybe i'm the knucklehead that i can be but a couple thousand years ago and now i'm one of his 12 buddies... and now he is gone. Sometimes it takes me longer to fully process information, or my thoughts, sometimes i'm considering too many unknown variables that i don't know how to process things that might be very emotional or obvious so i don't draw conclusions as quickly as most people, i can be a little slow sometimes, but when something comes along and rocks my world like the brutal death of my greatest influencer and best friend i understand that my natural thought-process says that someone is about to pay dearly and i happen to be an above average tool handler/apprentice of the Armalite model fifteen so let's get it on, that's a little ego but i call it human nature for today, today i will say that my human nature and sheep-dog mentality would like to take matters into my own hands, however i've learned over too many years that acting out on a triggered impulse can make a great 'statement' perhaps, but it doesn't really solve any problems, if anything it probably makes things more confusing to everyone else around me, right.... SO... back to easter sunday... i'm tired as all get out because i haven't finished one cup of coffee yet never mind two, and my world just got turned upside and i can be pretty slow to begin with so when i haven't even contemplated my second cup of coffee because i'm still nursing my first cup and now these ladies come running in and yelling about Jesus' grave and the big rock and now he's not here and, and, and ... and OK, alright, OK, you have my attention ladies, but i'm a little slow and groggy this morning, the malatonin gummy things didn't do their job last night and maybe i can get a travel mug before we go check out his grave, and tell me if i need to bring my gun, is it one of those types of things that will require defense or engagement because i'd rather just bring my mug of coffee instead... and second of all why would anyone take his dead body, what's up with that, and who does that anyway... no one takes my buddies dead body... um, right? ... Anyway, let's go check it out... BUT, Warning, i can be terrible with spoiler alerts but things get weird again from here because there are more red colored text to come, if you don't know what that means maybe go back and read the post from 04-01-21, it's foundational to today's post. So back to reality and today, today i'm glad that i wasn't one of those 12 guys that had to bare witness to what could be history's greatest moment as much as it was one of it's most horrific to those who witnessed his death... i'm good just reading about their experiences, i would still prefer to gear-up and make things happen the way that i think they should happen. My attempt is to make today Jesus' day and not my own day, personally speaking i just want to go out in the yard and start digging for the next outdoor project that i have going on, and the weather is perfect in rockingham county USA, so why not... anyway that's what i want to do, but now i got to go wake up the wife and kids and get to eastering and stuff ... Happy Easter. -- ct
04-04-21 later: If you just started reading my crappy website you might not know that i typically don't bring too much of my religious preference into regular conversation for many reasons, but mostly because it's either completely irrelevant variable to who i am, or maybe it could be an important basis for understanding my inner most motivations... i don't typically write to Christians, that's not my thing really, most of my writings are for my three kid's consideration when they get older, and also to cover some of the other stuff that i forgot to teach them when they were younger, or assumed that they already know, I mostly write to continue 'parenting' to my kids... but also because it's incredibly healthy for me to write and be transparent for my health, my own ego, my own health again. I realized that i had poked a new hornets nest earlier prior to writing a bit about my religious philosophy and didn't want new readers to assume that it's what i do here, it mostly isn't, it's mostly between my kids and I. -- ct
"Most people don't know it, you walk into a store and you buy a gun, you have a background check. But you go to a gun show, you can buy whatever you want and no background check," he said.
OK, now here is a bit more analysis by/from the article that i just read, you might call it 'fact-checked':
"Biden's comment appeared to be a misstatement of what is commonly described by Democrats as the "gun show loophole" around background checks. In reality, federally licensed vendors have to conduct background checks regardless of whether they are selling guns out of a store or at a show.
The "loophole" really applies to private sellers. Individuals are permitted to sell guns to other individuals without conducting background checks, regardless of where the sale takes place. These sales often take place at gun shows, as gun owners can sell there or use the events convenient and secure meeting points for the parties involved."
That's the end of the article's quote, ... so taking another look at JB's quote from earlier today... i typically assume that nationally televised blatant flasehhods are a 'mistake', hopefully, perhaps, and maybe in this case it's by an ignorant person that should know better then to turn away from his teleprompter and 'show his hand', maybe... or it's a flat-out full-on deceptive lie... it's been my experience that when 'important' people that are very very 'passionate' about controversial issues it's the lie thing... it's the flat out lie if you are important and do not take your job seriously enough to slow yourself down to speak intelligently about important topics but resort to falling back on manipulative propaganda and uncomfortably old 'talking points'... those usually aren't small little details that people 'mis-remembered'... those are the sorts of things that you or i might do with our own levels of responsibility if we are very tired, or trying to impress our buddies, but is that the sort of quality that you should be looking for in someone with the audacity to 'run' our country or lead anything? if so then that's on you... most adults understand this already but my impressionable young kids probably do not, so maybe they will appreciate reading this someday. -- ct
04-09-21: Beautiful morning in rockingham county, the sun is literally shining and the birds are back and full-on singing, my cream to sugar ratio was executed well so the coffee is working it's magic. kids are schooling, wife is working and i have an ambitious mental checklist of things to do, guess i'll prioritize the outside stuff, it's too perfect out. might be giving the landlady a ride to her second vaccine appt, she has a hard enough time driving down the street these days, nevermind the next county over she is suppossed to call if she didnt get her regular transportation, and i'll probably have to help my two remote learners today... one to help stay awake and the other to keep calm despite her crazy school-work load, she's got it tough this year... and then there is me, what do i do about me today besides get off my ars and do what's got to get done, it seems that writing is a good healthy start for me these days, the more i do the more i feel free to be myself and enjoy the life thats going on around me. my routine and ego says chug the coffee and lets go get it done but i have no reason to rush these days, i still move twice as fast as i need to (which is twice as fast as most normal people) but its slow enough that i dont feel as rushed as my former 'busy lifestyle' had 'required'. i dont know that i could ever actually retire but technically i am 'unemployed' so i'm not really working, and i have more time to get life's real priorities done with my time now, is this what retirement is like, i mean i guess im old enough to think along those lines even though my ego still says im 30... my ego says 30 but most major joints in my body say that ive been 162 years old for a long-ass time already... says the guy that was blessed with the dna for an athletic build and mentors that kept me active enough in my youth that i loved what some people are calling 'fitness' today. i love to move and run and get cardio-vascular stuff churning and chasing a ball or smashing a ball and riding bicycles fast and socializing/sporting with other like-minded folks... i love that stuff like nobody's business... except people forgot to tell me that this athletic spider-monkey of a body actually has limits, i did some organized sports with real coaches that could mentor a young male on mechanics and techniques to help keep your body safe as well as improving skills, but i mostly kept active and moving while not doing organized sports, where other influencers encouraged a teaching/theory that the human body has no limits and if you want to get bigger and stronger and faster you need to eat certain ways and you have to lift lot's and lot's and tons and tons and entirely too much weight... at least thats how i remember it and thats how i proceeded. i proceeded to lift weights incorrectly for entirely too long and mostly because my ego didn't like having a build or a body-type that some people called a gymnast, because my ego said that i do not want to be built like a gymnast i wanted to be built like a 275 pound full-back instead... instead of being happy with what was 5'8 150 lbs body i wanted to be more like the guy that gets the handoff and plows through the middle of the line protecting the ball and getting knocked around and still powering my way down field... but someone forgot to tell me and my ego that a 5'8 white guy with a relatively thin skeletal system and my own unique dna was never ever ever going to be the likes of Marshawn Lynch, not even with the aid of some horse steroids or whatever, nope, not going to happen young chris... maybe a slot receiver or a free safety with some additional bulk that i eventually put on, but not marshawn... i actually did enjoy getting the handoff from time to time but im better with the short route or catching the dude that got away from my boy/teammate. i had contemplated the ridiculous way that i lifted weights recently, it was while explaining to my son how my mentality with weights wasn't to just get stronger, but it was also to shape my frame into something that it wasnt supposed to be, i didn't just want to be stronger and more fit to improve certain skill sets i wanted to completely and drastically alter the person, the dna, the body that i was blessed to have in the first place, i wanted to be what i 'wanted' to be, not what i was 'supposed' to be, i wasn't happy just being me, my ego and lack of knowledge and mentorship decided to take actions into my own ignorant hands and be somebody different than the gifted and slender and athletic person that i already was... im sure that somebody somewhere, actually multiple people probably had told me that i should just be happy with who i am, and probably mentioned the 'grass is always greener' thing that people say but in my young ignorance i didn't understand how that pertained to me, and when i judged my young skinny self against the 'body-builders' of my time which were beginning to receive huge notoriety when i was young i don't know that anyone told me exactly that it was going to pertain to me when i keep listening to people call me skinny with sarcasm and when i go through the sorts of struggles that most people experience in life, like not being happy or satisfied with yourself and comparing myself with the people that i admire because they looked the way that i wanted to look... i don't remember my influencers telling me that exactly, they probably did but i was too into my own thing to listen or pay attention, but what i didn't understand was that every action has a consequence, and when a young boy begins lifting weights with the intensity that i thought was required to move heavy objects that were too darn heavy for me... when you give everything within you to move heavy object and you do not understand exactly how to do it well that bad things can happen because actions have consequences. so for the past 30 years or so i have lived with the consequences of 'pain', it's mostly just joints that get pulled a little bit the wrong way by my constant/continual muscle strains that muscle spasms became a way of life, for over 30 years... i learned many things in life the hard way, much of it is do to my own unhealthy ego, and most of it because people forgot to tell me that people have limits. i have no more desire to be the best anything anymore, i don't need the strongest fastest anything, i have no desire to break any records (except one), i have no desire to compete, and unfortunately i have no desire to lift weights again, i appreciate making outdoor work a full body exercise, my landscaping techniques look a bit intense, and the neighbors dog is still scared of me because of it, the poor critter witnessed what i did to the poor grass around the walkway a couple of years ago and he still cowers when i come close... sorry little buddy, i was just working out a little... but when i do lift weights, when i do actually pump some iron these days i use these cute and brightly colored plastic covered little things that babies can play with because thats the amount of weight required to help get my body straightened out when it gets painful enough for physical therapy, cute haw? ive purchased the whole set actually, a pair of one lb dumb bells, a pair of two lb dumbbells... i got the whole 1 - 5 lb set because thats all it takes to realign an aching body sometimes... maybe if i use them all of the time i'll get ripped again. im of the opinion that my body type was not meant to sit on a chair in an office for several hours per day, i just need to keep moving and being me now and im good to go, mostly.What made me reflect on this topic the most was an article that i read yesterday about Sadie Robertson, who is currently pregnant, talk about 'body shame' sorts of thoughts and ideas that she had/has struggled with, and i understand that she is pretty thin to begin with and that her body is supposed to get big when she's pregnant, but i appreciated that she was genuine and transparent enough to openly talk about her struggle... and that made me think a little bit more about similar struggles that i had most of my life. i have no problems with the folks that desire to be the best of anything and the time and dedication that it takes to be very good at anything but there is this idea that i don't remember where i read or heard it, but there is this theory that some people that become too focused on themselves, their ambitions, their body type, their lack of boobs, or lack of a weenie, or their feelings and emotions... there is this theory that those folks might be over-thinking certain things and comparing themselves to the neighbors yard, the yard which is always greener... and they might not be able to give their A-game to the things that are going on around them while they are distracted from being who they really are, or what they are supposed to be, there is a theory that comparing ourselves to what we want to be and taking the unhealthy actions to make our ego's reality come true might be 'self-destructive' to a sense... i am crazy good at being self-destructive sometimes, maybe 'not always' is more accurate. -- ct
04-09-21 later: self-destructive, maybe, no, similar but not quite ... even still i'm not sure why people that speed by my house bothers me sometimes... sure i hear the knuckleheads with their obnoxious ego exhaust driving by much too often, sure i hear and witness people speeding all of the time, i mean i live on a main street so you sort of have to expect such knuckleheads making some noise and doing their own thing... but sometimes one of them gets me a bit too much, as in the big dummy that i sort of just met a little while ago. i sort of just met him because when he was clearly doing 40ish in a 30 mph zone which a two lane street with cars parked on either side of the road and houses measured by feet and inches close to the street, when im walking home form the bank and a big pick-up full of crap piled up too high comes speeding up behind me and i turn and toward him... that guy, that guy driving that truck at that rate of speed that pulled over when i turned around to indicate that he might be speeding, that guy is the one that bothered me... 99.9999999% of them dont except the little 'angles' that drive by the hundreds with noisy-ass bikes, they get to me a little bit too. Anyway i know that some of my words sound like im an aggressive guy but ask the people closest to me if thats true, and i promise i won't coach them either. this big dummy today was driving fast and aggressive enough that i turned toward him to indicate to slow down a little and he wanted nothing to do with that, nope, he was not going to hear that from me, probably because im significantly smaller than him, maybe a hundred pounds or so and he was certainly taller, maybe 6-8 inches more, so his ego is in such a state that he wants to live life by his own rules and doesn't want to be corrected by anyone, and especially not someone that's significantly smaller than him.. i get you you big grown-up baby, your parents tried but you just want to play life but your own rules not the law of the land, i've encountered tons of folks like you throughout my years, once upon a time big noisy people intimidated me, until i learned a bit more about your type, and learned how to kick the crap out of people that dont really know what they are doing even though they are big and angry, you big baby. you pulled your pathetic little toy truck to a stop on a main street with two other vehicles that had to swerve out of your way because you dont like to be told that you are speeding and thats wrong... getting out of your truck and trying to intimidate me further gave me an indication of what force i might have to use to get you to sit down and shut up so i can explain why going 25% over a speed limit is much less safe than the 5-10% that you probably do on the highway, there is a ratio there that some folks don't understand. so ya get out of your truck and walk up to me and asked what my problem is so i tell you nice and loudly what the speed limit is... no sir, i am not a cop and never was, those folks are much smarter than me. however i noticed that your intimidation didn't seem to work and you realized that when i got in your personal space and began to shout back at you, i noticed that you began to act a little differently, you actually changed your tone a little and gave me a smirk, so far i get most of what just happened, but the smirk could have meant many different things, and that's the part that still bothers me, i need to research. i didn't take his bait and strike him when he asked me to, it would have been too easy... i already figured out what side of your head would be best, but your glasses changed that variable, and so it would have been just below your ribs instead - center mass as they say. there is no way that your gut could have taken it, you have no way to defend yourself from that point on, the rest would have been too easy... ask me why i didn't hit you when you asked me to, because you are too easy and i'd rather just tell you to shut up and stop flying down the street, but if you ask why i did not because it would have been unfair and the type of witnesses around wouldn't have appreciated/stomached that possibility, be glad that i just took a picture of your license plate and gave it to the real police, they seem to handle these things better than i would have... you big baby, now grow up a little already. I don't mind dealing with big babies when they need to be dealt with, but i'd rather that their parents do/did that for them, because once they leave your house its either the police or me, and both will be a terrible blow to your off-springs ego and an unpleasant wake-up to reality for them... maybe, some deviants never 'grow-up' because they became too much of a handful for everyone that should or could have loved them... everyone has a day of reckoning coming in one manor or another, parents please love your child, don't disrespect them by spoiling them, and please ask for help when your kids become too much of a handful, you do not want to know what i might have to do to them someday when they snap, it gets really ugly and violent real quick, and death is a real possibility when violence occurs depending on how big of a baby you did or didn't raise. Parents, don't let your kids to grow-up to be like that big knucklehead that i just sort of met, he's a bit disrespectful and doesn't play well with others... and he's gonna be seeing a bad one if he stops back by now that he knows approximately where i live, unless he just wants to have a beer and be friends, that's the logical thing to do, either that or grow up, i'm good with both options. -- ct
UPDATE 04-11-21: Just want to explain rational for choosing where to hit this big dummy, he did not require it because he was just an angry guy that i think was under a little influence of something and wanted to show that he wanted to be in control of a stupid situation, fine, i appreciate being underestimated, it happens a lot when you are smaller than most folks. typically a guy that is substantially larger than me and is in better shape than the guy i met the other day, those bigger and obviously fit individuals would be more challenging, i wouldn't just go for a head shot or a body punch, i would have ruined his left knee because that was the one that was out in his front, then gone for a really big head shot because folks that are substantially larger and stronger than me are more of a challenge than a big dummy, when circumstances arise where someone that you know can over power you and wants to do so i have to bring him down to my size as quickly and efficiently as possible because fights aren't for fun, fights against an enraged deviant could very well be fights for your life. the guy i met the other day wasn't as much of a threat as some other folks his size would be against me, he was just an angry kid/man that is used to intimidating others and wanted to show me how good at it he is... it's end up that i wasn't impressed. i was pretty sure that this individual would have been fine with a few slaps across his cheeks and told to slow his truck down, some folks are so stunned by a strike to the softest tissue on their face (nose and mouth) that most normal people realize their stupidity in desiring to fight after a quick hard punch in the nose... but not someone that is OK with slamming on his brakes in the middle of the street with two cars behind him, he needed something a bit more harsh, he needed further incapacitation due to his share size. If he was more of a threat i would cave in his most forward knee and then been able to reach his jaw with one of my knees, a big dummy was probably going to just need a couple of harder than expected strikes to smarten-up... if he's just a big dummy and not a nasty deviant i didn't want to ruin his knee or ruin his glasses or chance that the remains of them would need to be removed from his face and possibly eyes, so it was just going to be an unexpected punch in his unfit 'bread basket' to get him to be more reasonable and bring him down to my size if he required anything more... fortunately he was just a big dummy that drove away a bit slower than when we first met... and the smirk that he gave me that bothered me at first i think was the smirk of a guy that realized that his intimidation didn't impress me and he sort of gave me a smirk in acknowledgement that i wasn't a little 'push-over', it might have actually been a smirk of appreciation in some ways, whatever, i never followed back up with the police to see if they decided to follow back up with the big jerk. on a good day the big jerk and i meet under better circumstances and we might share a couple of beers together, on a bad day it turns out like 4/9, or worse. -- ct
04-09-21 later: i dont get this at all https://www.foxnews.com/sports/us-olympian-sakura-kokumai-target-angry-rant-california-park ... im ignorant as to asian hate uptick, you see it against jewish folks from time to time as well, i understand that hate exists but i don't get why specific 'races' at specific times other than some nasty instigating. i 'get' that there are many people that understand the threat that the communist regime in china poses against usa and other democracies around the globe, but why/how do people pick on Asians in general, there is something other than just 'china threat' that is instigating... why do many people think that anyone with different looking eyes are now all of a sudden a threat to society in general, who/why is anyone instigating... i don't get it... lesson to my kids, dad's wisdom to share, or 'dad lesson number 435' as i like to joke... don't ever ever ever assume that someone is anyone else other than a normal regular person just getting along with their daily lives, don't be foooled into thinking that certain people that look a certain way are wrong at their core, they are individuals like you and me... they are not a threat until they show you otherwise... don't be blinded by your ego and inciteful rhetoric... assume that people are just people trying to do what most other regular normal people are trying to do, live a decent life that doesn't victimize others, assume that, unless individuals show otherwise, be ferocious when necessary, but kind to everyone else. -- ct
04-09-21 even later: i am need of a 'news fast' my blood pressure is getting up for no other reason and its completely illogical... i will medicate and and get back to more important things, i don't need to know whats going on all over the world, thats illogical, whats important is whats in front of me and the people around me... good deep breath in, and let it out slowly, give it 5 more minutes and i'll medicate if necessary... time for a little fast, maybe. -- ct
04-09-21 wicked late: i just tried a sip of the Zac Brown 2018 Cabernet that my wife got special for me ... I haven't had any vino for quite awhile... well done ZB, well done.... "It's been a long time coming Couldn't keep on running Had to hit rock bottom to know....
When you keep on losing With the path you're choosing And it's time to let go... Of someone that I used to know." -- ZB
UPDATE 04-11-21: hey ZB, your 2018
Cabernet
paired well with my steak n cheese with onions and mushrooms.. you brought a level of 'smoothness' that i really appreciated yo. -- ct
My breathing seems very strange now, it seems like I need to learn how to do that differently now… OK, I think I’ve figured that out now, but I still feel quite strange. In fact everything feels strange now, I was used to wet and warm and now I feel quite different. Which one is you? Which one of you is the one whose voice that I've heard so much? Is it you, the one holding me now? You have no idea how much I’ve been waiting to meet you… but I still feel strange… it seems that I had been feeding and breathing by that big thing on my belly but that seems to be gone now… do you know where it went? And do you know how I am supposed to drink now, it seems like I will have to learn how to do that differently too? Well this is nice, it’s different but nice… but I thought that my mouth was just for the warm wet fluid, but that seems to be all gone now too, but this is nice. It also feels strange to be embraced by hands and bosom, before it was all warm and wet and snuggled tightly about, but now I am learning that your hands and bosom are different too, but nice… it seems that is something else that is different too. Before I tried so hard to stretch out and to really move around and I couldn’t, I couldn’t no matter how much I tried, but that is different now too. Now it seems that I can move in lots of strange ways that I couldn’t before and that is nice, it’s different but nice. It seems that lot’s of things, maybe even everything is much different now, it all seems nice but it’s all so different… it feels so different that I have to tell you all about it, but for now I am content to figure out how to use my mouth this new way, and to have hands holding me, and to hear that familiar voice more clearly than ever before… this day feels pretty good, it feels traumatic yet good all at the same time, I think I sort of like this strange day, I hope to remember this day.
I’m starting another writing project soon, but I think it will sort of boil down to something like this:
I need to put together an actual list of solid influencers in my life, and what I learned from them, and what I really appreciated about them, and what about them that was less than perfect as well as their giftings, in other words how they were an example of being a regular ol’ human yet they still influenced me in good ways that still impact me today. It sounds like a logical thing for some people, and a stupid thing to other people, and maybe even an impossible thing to some other people… but everyone sort of has that mental checklist of people that they sort of like or appreciate or love or respect and why they like or love that person… and then maybe take it a step further down the road perhaps when you can put together the same sort of list of other people, the negative influencers that you notice, the folks that you do not like, or you might even hate, or you find curious and amusing as well, and then write down the similar things like, what is about them that I don’t like or hate or is weird, and then do the other part to where you might view them as your equal too, and then try to list some sort of good qualities too maybe… but anyway the new project will expand on things like that eventually, but for now maybe you could help me a bit with this project to get it started, just start with the positive influencers of your life… maybe start with that simple list, and what was cool about them, and what wasn’t cool about them too… and then maybe view that positive influencer as your equal for a moment, when you do that you might be able to understand other things about them that wasn’t so cool, or what was totally awesome about them… and once you view those positive influencers through the lens or filter of being your equal then do one more quick step for me please, next simply write down other things about those same positive influencers, things that some people call their ‘character’, or their ‘kindness’ or their ‘true talents’ or their ‘moral code’ … those sorts of things, can you do that quickly for me please, maybe just give a quick example of a positive influencer, how you might be related to them or know them or how you listen to them or view them somehow, you can even tag them in this post if you want, and what is special about them, even if they aren’t perfect in some respects you know that they are decent or cool or smart or talented or brilliant and they are actually your equal too so also add what it really is that makes them special, can you reply below please with one or two or even many examples of such people, go ahead, just try to do that for one person if you can… so now it’s your turn to write. Thanks for help and assistance with my new project. -- ct